A big part of me wanted to lean into that touch, but for the aforementioned three reasons, I held back.
Kessian sensed my hesitation and a flicker of rejection crossed his face before he removed his hand. I wanted to catch his wrist, but I was exhausted and overstimulated, oscillating between keeping my distance and getting as close as I dared.
“Sorry,” I murmured. “It can take me five to seven business days to process big things. Today has been a lot of big things.”
Kessian recovered himself, nodding. “It is late. Should we have dinner and call it a night?”
Lunaris had taken care of supper, so all I had to do was boil pasta. She could generally prepare anything provided the raw ingredients were available, and luckily I kept leftover Bolognese in the freezer for such occasions as these when the day got away from me.
We settled into the dining booth and tucked in. I tried to ignore the candle flickering between us, focusing on that fragment of an overheard conversation.
“So how did you get to know Briar and Rowan?”
Kessian shrugged. “Like I said, I came here on a trip a couple years back. We have a lot in common, so we get on like a house on fire.”
That final conversation had sounded terse to me. I decided to quit being tactful and just ask. “I overheard Briar offering to make you something?”
Kessian paused mid-chew, an unreadable expression crossing his face. “Were you eavesdropping?”
“Just coming back from the toilet. Are you hiding something?”
Lunaris thumped my back with the booth cushion, chastising me for being rude.
Kessian’s tone was light. “I was admiring some of the fashion designs he had framed on the wall. Told him it’s hard to find clothes that fit me right or let me express myself, so I wish I had that skill. He offered to make me something, but I don’t want to fall back on ‘mate’s rates.’ He should be paid for his talent, so I’ll save up until I can afford it.”
I thought back to what Briar had said.There’s no shame in it.And the brittle way Kessian had said,No, it’s fine. I’m fine.
A bad habit I’d never quite kicked: I assumed everyone told me thetruth. Not only because I was terrible at lying, but because deceiving people seemed like so much effort, and I could never understand the motivation to expend that on a disguise most people would see through.
But I rarely saw through it. I took most things at face value, and then looked the gullible arsehole when the truth came to light.
In spite of all that, I could tell he wasn’t being entirely honest.
What reason did Kessian have to lie to me? The optimistic answer was: none. Realistically, he couldn’t have anything to do with the wraith or the drowning of two dozen villagers in Shearwater. He’d moved there three years later.
But he was connected to the strid’s magic, and he was hiding something.
“All right. You don’t have to tell me,” I said.
Kessian’s shoulders sagged, whether with relief that I didn’t press him or disappointment that I’d seen through the lie, I couldn’t tell. I twirled the spaghetti around my fork and moved on to the other thing I wanted to ask.
“If we’re going to speak with the forest tomorrow, we should lay out everything we already know.”
“Not much,” Kessian said. “But go ahead.”
“Do you know how you got your abilities? Or why?”
“Not the why. As to how, they came to me after my first soak in the spring. I remember floating on my back with the water in my ears, and I heard a voice. It asked …” For a moment, he looked nothing like the coy, playful Kessian I knew. He looked guarded bordering on prickly. “It asked if I had a home.”
“Didn’t you?”
“No. I’d just moved to Shearwater. I didn’t know if I was going to stay.”
“Where did you live before?”
“A place called Bellgrave. Not the sunniest place, but it had its upsides.”
“I visited once. Made a killing selling coffee cups near the university. Why did you leave?”
