Dancing,he said, disapproval clear in his thoughts.
I tended to agree with him, but then the First Daughter and her cousin joined the others. Everyone else made room for them, and I soon understood why, as they had their horses dancing with them. Hoofbeats followed the drums, slow at first, the girls weaving through their horses with graceful, almost hypnotic movements. I couldn’t look away.
The tempo increased, faster and faster, and the girls and the horses kept pace, until Zara and Mariyah seemed in danger of being trampled by flinty hooves. The girls laughed, joining hands as their feet moved to the beat of the drum, hips swaying, too, in ways that would have made the stiff court ladies of the palace frown darkly. It captivated me, my plate forgotten in my lap.
And then the music swelled, the voices of the singers crying out all at once, and the horses reared. Zara and Mariyah vaulted beneath them, nearly bashing their temples on flashing hooves, and I stood so suddenly my plate fell to the ground. How would I explain the future empress’s skull being bashed in on her last night with her people? But Zara twisted easily away, laughing as she did so.
There was a wildness within her that I knew would be tested when we returned to the palace. I thought of the austere ladies, the somber colors, the polite, murmured conversations. I thought of my cousin, with his frequent changes in mood, the times when he was deeply depressive and reclusive, or when he was easily angered. And then I thought of his ally, Ozul, who I had a feelingwouldn’t simply vanish to wherever he’d come from now that this treaty was in place. I knew, even if my cousin didn’t, that their goals weren’t the same.
I almost feel sorry for her,I told Neo.She doesn’t even know what she’s walking into.
She’ll just have to toughen up if she isn’t already,Neo said, as usual without sympathy.The palace is uncomfortable for all of us—except maybe the emperor’s most favored nobles.
This was true enough, but still, it seemed sad that the emperor would break her. He broke all his favorite things, and I knew this girl, this First Daughter who was once his enemy, would be impossible for him to resist. Some children destroyed their toys because they were naturally too rough or because they had a mean streak, but Altair was different. He broke them before his father could use them against him.
I remembered a summer when we were still young enough to like each other, when my mother brought him a soft toy eagle she’d made herself from wool and eagle feathers. I’d seen the look on his face when she gave it to him: wonder and disbelief. Not because he didn’t have toys of his own—he did. But because she’d made it just for him.
He’d carried that thing around until it was filthy, and then one day, his father saw him clutching it tight to his chest.
You’re too old for stuffed toys,he had said, the derision clear even to my young ears.
Aunt Luscinia made it for me,Altair had replied, his voice hesitant even as he gripped the toy harder.
You don’t see Talon running around with a stuffed toy like a pathetic excuse for a boy.
I do have one Mama made me,I had said, flinching as my uncle whirled on me.I sleep with it at night.
His lip had curled, but he didn’t respond to that—he didn’t like the narrative that I was presenting: that it was normal for boys our age to have stuffed toys.Then hand it over, Altair, and I’ll put it in your room for you. No one wants to see the future emperor running around the palace clutching a stuffed animal. They’ll think something is wrong with your brain, Son.
To my surprise, Altair had shaken his head.No.
What did you say?my uncle had asked in that dangerous tone of voice that made me freeze like a rabbit.
I won’t let you have it,Altair said, and before his father could snatch it from him, Altair set his teeth and ripped the stuffed eagle to pieces. Tears were streaming down his face, though it was contorted in anger, and I watched in silent horror as feathers and wool littered the floor.
It wasn’t until I was much older that I understood. Altair had ripped his beloved toy apart so that his father couldn’t do it. He’d rather it be by his hand than be forced to watch his father do that to something he loved.
I didn’t want anyone to suffer the same fate, not even the First Daughter.
And just because Altair’s father was no longer alive didn’t mean she couldn’t be used against him.
I won’t stay at the palace long, then,I thought to myself. I wouldn’t be able to watch the light go from her eyes, the color from her cheeks—this girl who had bested me as a warrior, whom I couldn’t help but respect.
In the morning, though, I would do my duty and bring her back to the palace, to the emperor whose only real concern about her was whether or not she was beautiful. Unfortunately for her, she was—a wild, untamed sort of beauty that was as fierce as a sudden storm on the plains. It would be better for her if she wereunremarkable, because then my cousin wouldn’t want to keep her close to him for all to see. I knew as soon as she arrived, and he got a look at her, she’d be dressed like a doll, everything that made her who she was stripped away, until she wore the drab but elegant clothing favored by the court. I would go and tell the emperor that there were others here with the power to control the wind, though I had seen no proof of this myself—nor demanded any. Like the Children of Earth, I wanted an end to this war. Bringing the First Daughter back only to have her assassinated by one of Altair’s advisers would only plunge us back into war. They were clever to request a safeguard for her, because honestly, the palace court couldn’t be trusted.
I hope you would not be so sympathetic to her if she had crippled my wings,Neo said, his tone wry.
I would pity anyone having to spend time in that court.Sometimes, I even pitied the emperor himself. He didn’t get to be the way he was by living a happy, carefree life, and in many ways, the court reflected what he’d been through in his childhood. What he was still going through with the memory of his father.
But as I watched Zara throw her arms around her cousin, laughing as the music ended, I could only think,I’m sorry.
The next morning,after Neo returned from hunting, I went to the pavilion of the Queen of All Queens. The other riders had gone on ahead, to bring word that the peace treaty had been signed, and I was alone. Outside the tent, the same warrior who had accompanied the queen and First Daughter before waited outside, her eyes narrowed as she looked at me. I kept my expression carefully blank, though I wanted to glare back at her. Everyone here wore every emotion they had on their faces for theworld to see. She may as well have said,I hate you. I hate that the First Daughter will be going with you.
“I’m here for the future empress,” I said, and maybe I was pettier than I thought, because I knew she wouldn’t like me calling her that.
She added a slight curl to her lip to accompany her glare. “I’ll let the First Daughter know. Wait here.”
They made me wait for quite a while, until I had to suppress the urge to shift from one foot to the other. When they finally emerged, Zara carried a heavily tooled leather bag in one hand, as well as her bow and arrows strung across her back. She wore a slim leather breastplate studded with aquamarine gemstones and a flowing skirt that was cut down the middle to reveal leather leggings and boots beneath. Her horse was on her right, and her cousin Mariyah and mother on her left. Zara’s and Mariyah’s eyes were so red it looked as though they’d stayed up all night crying. Something twisted inside me, but I didn’t let it rise to the surface. Pity wouldn’t make her feel any better, especially from me.
