“You are, but using this power jeopardizes your position as future queen,” Ama said.
I went still with shock. “Why have you never told me this?”
“In all our recent generations,” Ama said, “it has never been a problem. All power and abilities travel along the maternal bloodline, no matter who sired you.” She suddenly looked tired. “You may even have weaker abilities you can tap into from yourfather’s side, but they would never be more powerful than the earth magic inherited through our Sorayan line. I never thought it would be an issue.”
I leaned toward her. “Then who sired me? Is that where this power comes from?”
“I had many suitors at the time.”
It was her standard answer—a step above simply saying,I don’t know. Not knowing for sure was common, as many daughters, including queens, took many suitors when they were ready to have a baby. Growing up, surrounded by so many loving people and horses, I had never given much thought to who my sire might be. Daughters and sons fell in and out of love all the time without deciding to join themselves together in a life partnership. Queens, especially, typically took countless royal consorts. Queen Jazela was unusual in that she had been with Prince Malik for decades. Ama, with her numerous suitors before I was born, was far more in line with tradition. But I still had this terrible suspicion she wasn’t telling me everything. I couldn’t help but compare myself to Mariyah again, who had been sired by Prince Malik. There was no mystery surrounding her parentage. The magic may only flow through the maternal line, but obviously in my case, something else was going on.
“Who your sire is doesn’t matter,” Aunt Jazela said, jumping in. “What’s important here is that the Earth Mother won’t give you her blessing if you continue to use a power that isn’t earth magic. And without her blessing, you won’t be able to lead our people.” It felt like a knife twisted in my chest. So this is what Ama had meant before by the wind magic being dangerous. Using it could potentially prevent me from ever taking my rightful place as Queen of All Queens.
General Isa’s expression mirrored my own stunned disbelief.This hadn’t been how she’d expected this conversation to go. She had no doubt thought that they would both jump at the chance to finally gain the upper hand on our enemy.
“So, if Zara uses this power again, she’ll have to give up the throne?” Mariyah asked incredulously. “How has this never been a problem before?”
“Our bloodline has always been strong enough to overcome any weaker abilities being passed on.”
Sons often had weaker manifestations of earth magic than daughters. The royal lines were the strongest, and any sons born to queens usually had some form of earth magic. Kai, a distant cousin of Queen Jazela’s royal line, was extraordinarily strong, beyond the normal limits of humanity. But none of this explained my ability to call on the wind.
“There’s a chance if you stop using this ability, then your earth magic will awaken,” Ama said. “We need to discuss it with Samira.”
Aunt Jazela nodded emphatically. “Yes, Samira has always been the genealogist of the family.”
Ama stopped her pacing. “I’ll send word to her immediately.”
She strode out of the room without another word to us, presumably to write a letter to Queen Samira.
Mariyah just pulled me in for a tight hug. “I’m sorry, Zara. I had no idea about any of that—I didn’t even know that power wasn’t earth magic. But maybe this is good, in a way. Now you won’t feel pressured to risk your bond with Shazeera.”
As I leaned into my cousin’s embrace, I glanced at Shazeera, and I knew—even without hearing her thoughts—that we were experiencing the same tumultuous feelings.
My whole body felt heavy, and my shoulders drooped with it like a wilted flower. Ama’s and Aunt Jazela’s reactions weredevastating, but not because my ascension to the throne was in jeopardy.
I had never felt worthy of being First Daughter. I had spent my life dreaming of having healing abilities like Ama. When years went by and I still didn’t have any signs of earth magic, I begged the Earth Mother to bless me with the power to save my people. To be useful for once.
For the briefest moment, I thought she had.
Now, emotions crashed over me like relentless waves—relief that I wouldn’t have to put my bond with Shazeera at risk, guilt that I felt such relief, and crushing disappointment that I wouldn’t be able to save my people from almost certain destruction.
But most of all, the plummeting feeling that I would never be a worthy First Daughter.
13
Zara
I knew from the moment I woke on the seventh day of not being able to communicate mentally with Shazeera that something potentially devastating was about to happen.
No psychic skills necessary.
Almost an entire week had gone by. With each passing day, I sank deeper into a pit of despair in my mind, terrified I would never escape.
What if it never gets better? What if we can never talk to each other again?
I shoved such thoughts away—I refused to think like that.
Ama had sent Dani in to heal me after the meeting, and though she had taken much of the fatigue away almost instantly, I struggled with my breathing for days. That was to be expected, considering she didn’t have the healing capabilities of a royal. Ama would have been able to heal me completely, but she still struggled to heal herself.
