Lord Dervil closed his eyes as if the memories were almost too painful to recall, but then he spoke. “Her father was a clever man. He didn’t mind my suit for his daughter’s hand and I did want to marry Priscilla, make no doubt about it. Her family was not of my class. Her father had started his career as a clerk, saved his money, invested, and eventually purchased a warehouse, right on the wharves and that is how he became wealthy. Unfortunately, he was like most of us, he wanted more. He began investing in cargo ships. Little amounts at first, until he believed he knew what he was doing. Then, he put in larger amounts. I met Priscilla just around that time. I gave her that pendant as a sign of my honest intentions toward her. She wore it every day. There is a lily on the back. It was my nickname for her. I wrote a bad poem comparing her to the lily flower and she enjoyed teasing me about it.”
“Did you ask her to marry you?”
He tilted his head toward her as if confiding a secret. “Yes, but we could not say anything publicly. At least not at the time. Her father understood what I was up against and the pressures my family was placing on me. He was a good man. A kind one. He also understood that if Priscilla had a good dowry, we might marry with my parents’ blessings. I think he was actually tickled over the idea of his daughter having a title. You know, his grandchildren being lords of the realm and all that nonsense.He urged me to not do anything rash that would cost my parents’ approval.” He paused soberly and added, “And I wanted them to accept Priscilla. I didn’t want her to be an outsider. Of course, now their approval seems insignificant. We should have damned them all and run away.”
“But you didn’t.”
“No.” He frowned at the memory. “Instead, her father took a big risk. He invested a good amount of his wealth in two ships that would have delivered handsomely if they had not both been destroyed. One was caught in a storm and sank. The other was boarded by pirates and was later found in some port somewhere, without its cargo or crew.”
“That is terrible.”
“Aye, it was. It almost ruined him. Then his warehouse caught fire and completed the task. He hadn’t paid the insurance. He’d had to use his money to pay his creditors after the ships were destroyed. He died trying to save what he could in the fire.”
“Dear Lord.”
“The family was ruined. Her mother took to her bed. Priscilla had an older brother who was in the clergy. He was a strict man. Unwelcoming. She didn’t want to go to him. She begged me to help.” He drew a deep breath and said slowly, “But what could I do? Ihadto marry money. I loved her, except I had my responsibilities. I told her I could not marry her.”
Her poor mother. Not only had she lost her father and the security he offered her family,but the man she’d trusted, the one who had professed love, abandoned her. Clarissa understood too well how that felt. “How did she take your rejection?”
“Calmly, with dignity. She actually tried to make me feel better about it.” He looked to Clarissa. “I knew I made a mistake almost immediately. I—”
He paused lost in the past, before saying, “Three weeks later, I went to her brother’s home where she was staying. I wanted to ensure she was fine. I had to see her again. That’s when I learned her mother had died and she had disappeared. Vanished.”
He broke down.
Clarissa had seen men cry before. She found it a humbling sight although she’d never heard a man weep with such deep-seated regret. It poured out of him. Huge, gulping, silent tears.
She worried what would happen if someone noticed. A group came out from the ballroom to enjoy the night air. Clarissa stepped around Lord Dervil, blocking their view of him, moving him a step deeper into the shadows, shielding him. Compassion demanded she do this, even as she had little sympathy for him.
He had betrayed the woman he said he loved, probably when she needed him most. “And so you let her go?”
“No.” Her question sobered him. “I searched everywhere. I left word with people she might turn to asking her to contact me. I hired men to find her. No one could.”
And then, Clarissa understood.
Standing there under cheerful paper lanterns and the night sky, it was as if a voice, the voice of her mother, whispered to her, telling her the rest of the story. Clarissa had always had a good sense of intuition, but this was more.
“How long did you search?” she asked.
“A good year or longer.”
“In your messages, where did you tell her you wanted to meet?”
“Meet?”
“You said you left word with anyone she might have turned to. What did you want her to know?”
“Oh, yes, I told her to go to the Maidenshop house. It was a safe place. The rest of the family rarely went there.”
Priscilla had tried to reach him. She was bringing her baby to him.
Then Clarissa knew. “Of course, during that time, you married.”
He bowed his head. “I had to.”
“Soon after she disappeared? Or later?” She wanted the details. They made a difference.
“Three months after I lost Priscilla, I married. My first wife was the daughter of a banker who held a good number of my father’s vowels. I truly had no choice. Then again, the marriage allowed me to begin to build my wealth. It was part of my rise. But I didn’t love my first wife. I never loved her. Or my second either.”
