Of course, Clarissa wanted to pretend they had good reasons for abandoning her, that they had wished her to be happy and felt they had little other choice. Unfortunately, throughher work at the foundling home, she learned some parents hadselfishreasons for discarding a child.
That didn’t mean she hadn’t lain awake at night and worried about the mysteries of her birth. She sensed she had emerged from a darkness.
Once, when she had confided her fears to Mrs. Taylor, her adoptive mother had laughed them off as silly fantasies.We wanted you, she’d said, and yet, they never let her call them mother or father. They were always Reverend and Mrs. Taylor. Still, she knew them as parents, even if she was not allowed to use the words.
Dora would use the words, Clarissa decided as the baby grabbed for her buzzing finger. If Clarissa married the earl, she would want Dora to call her “mother,” if she wished, of course. And Clarissa would protect her as fiercely as if she were her own. She already felt a protective bond with this child. When Dora had questions, Clarissa would let her ask them...
And maybe, perhaps, Clarissa and Lord Marsden could find common ground, but only if she married him.
“Should I say yes, Dora?” she had whispered.
The baby had caught both of her hands and raised and lowered them excitedly as if she’d discovered a new action that filled her with pride.Oras if she was saying how pleased she would be with the match.
And Marsden had said she could name her terms.
When Clarissa had returned to bed, sleep eluded her. Once she realized she was going to agree to this madness, she was too anxious to rest. She no longer worried whether accepting his offer was the right decision. Now her fear was that he would change his mind.
It had taken most of her courage to knock on his door this morning. She’d even rehearsed a little speech that had flown from her head the moment he’d opened the door and she saw him freshly shaven, his wheat-colored hair neatly combed. He cut a fine figure in leather riding breeches, shined boots, and a well-tailored vest. His shirt was so white it blinded her.
But she must stand her ground—for her and Dora’s futures. Men couldn’t be trusted to think ahead.
“First,” she started in her most authoritative voice, “ours will be a marriage of convenience and there should be no expectation of anything more than politeness.”
“Politeness?” he repeated. “What the devil does that mean? That I am supposed to practice good table manners? I don’t eat like a wolf if that is your fear. Nor do I dribble on myself.”
Of course, he was going to make her be specific. Heat rose to her cheeks, but she did not look away. Matching his blunt tone, she answered, “A fake marriage does not requirerealintimacy.”
There was a laden beat of silence. Then, “Why, Miss Taylor,” he drawled, “who knew you could be so direct?”
He was mocking her. “Anyone whotrulyknows me,” she replied with her own false sweetness. “I can speak my mind without being crude.”
“Hmmm,crude. And are you saying you weren’t planning to be intimate with Thurlowe if he had married you? The poor man. Did he know? I can’t imagine the two of you having this conversation. I admire Thurlowe greatly but I can’t picture him talking to you about having a good shag.”
Shag?Clarissa had never heard such a term although she knew exactly what he meant by his tone—and it both offended and rather titillated her. Images sprang to her mind that she would have sworn she would never have entertained.
It was his shaving soap, that was what it was. He smelled clean. He smelled masculine. The fresh scent of it surrounded her, subtly urging her to step closer, but that would be folly. This man seduced women on a whim. She must keep her courage and her strong values.
Clarissa pressed her soles into the ground and held her head high, letting him know she was impervious to him, even though she wasn’t. Not really. Not with him this close.
And then he smiled, as if he sensed her inner turmoil.
Her common sense came roaring back. “My arrangement with Mr. Thurlowe was far different from this one—and none of your concern,” she added briskly, knowing exactly what tack he would take and wishing to nip his impertinence in the bud. “Furthermore, I have morepower over our situation than I did over Mr. Thurlowe, my lord. You need me more than I need you.”
The playful light left his eye. “I could turn you out right now.”
“But you won’t. You would have to explain your lie to your mother and I believe you would rather gnaw off your arm before admitting this was all a farce to her. Especially since you fear she will use Dora’s parentage against you. Imagine a lifetime of having to do your mother’s will lest she gossip about her own grandchild. I, personally, find the whole matter upsetting. However, I’m trying to help you, my lord. Please, be reasonable.”
His brows came together. He gave a low growl of annoyance, and then he said, “No intimacy?”
“Yes.”
“You know I’m not that sort of man.”
“A chaste one?”
Her comment sparked an abrupt laugh out of him. “Exactly.”
She shrugged. “You know I’m not the sort of woman who pretends what I don’t feel. And, let’s be honest. I’m not the sort who attracts you.”
