“You aredefendinghim? Is an apology enough?”
“No. Although, I am relieved I don’t have his death on my conscience. You were right, once again.”
Clarissa could not believe what she was hearing. “Mars—” she started, just as he said, “Rissa—”
They both stopped awkwardly, and she was thankful. She hadn’t fully formed in her mind what she wanted to say without sounding as if she was listing grievances, grievances that were beginning not to matter . . .
Was this what the matrons had been trying to tell her yesterday?
Fortunately, she was saved from saying anything because he barged ahead. “I must speak first. If I don’t, I may lose my nerve.” Then he dove in almost ferociously, “I have been sowrongabout everything. I thought I didn’t need anyone, that I was better being alone. When you challenged me on the duel, when you told me I wasn’t justified, I was angry. I said unforgivable things. They weren’t words I meant.” He made a frustrated sound and admitted, “I was also frustrated and confused. I mean, I married Dervil’s daughter—”
“He has not been a father to me. He doesn’t deserve the title.”
“I’m thankful he doesn’t. Because, if he had been, I wouldn’t have married you. I am far too human. I’ve been lost in grief and wanting vengeance when I don’t even know what that is. How does one measure the loss of a life?”
He stopped, drew a great shuddering breath as if gathering his courage, then said, “Clarissa, I’m sorry for my anger. I’m sorry you felt you had to leave. But I don’t want you to leaveme. I need you, Clarissa. Andloveis such a dangerous word. I thought my father was a fool for loving my mother to the point of giving up his own pride. Of course, the first time I heldDora, I felt something strange move me. It was like I was being opened up, but only a crack.” He took another step toward her. “What I feel for you is different. It’s stronger. Bigger. Damn it all, I’m not a poet. I have no patience with fancy language.”
“Keep going,” she said, wiping a tear that had escaped with the back of her gloved hand. “You are doing a very good job.”
He smiled at her then. No one’s smile was better than Mars’s. It was like the sun coming out from behind massive dark clouds. “You are always on my side.”
“Not always.”
He laughed and then said quietly, sincerely, and clearly, “I love you.”
Clarissa could have fallen to her knees in front of him.He loved her. Her, the unlovable one. The village project.Mars loved her. Her tears started flowing freely now. Tears of joy and blessed relief.
She started to speak. He covered her lips with his leather-gloved fingertips. “No, let me say this because I don’t know if I could ever do it again.”
Clarissa dutifully quieted herself, so full of joy it was hard to contain.
“If you stay, I will do everything in my power to make you happy. Unfortunately, I’m a bit stubborn. I’ll make mistakes.”
“You managed to put together a coalition, my lord. I have great hopes for you.”
“I have great hopesfor myself. I’m a bit amazed that it all came together so well. I alsolearned you were right. There are some issues I should be paying attention to. Lowton is happily putting together weekly reports for me to study all the issues he believes I should know.”
“That is a good thing.”
“I suppose. It feels different. It feels responsible.” He shook his head. “It is a big change.”
“There are some things I don’t ever want you to change, my lord. I like your stubbornness. It matches mine.”
“Oh, no,” he answered without missing a beat, “you are far more stubborn.”
Clarissa swallowed a laugh. “Are you arguing with me?”
“I hope so. I want to argue with you every day for the rest of my life. Do you understand? Circumstances may have thrown us together, but I love you, Rissa. Even when you push me in directions I don’t want to go. I need the push. I needyou.”
Her response was to throw her arms around him and to hug him tightly. He felt good and solid, a rock of stability.Herrock.
And he held her just as close—
A discreet clearing of a voice warned them they were not alone.
They looked up to see Mrs. Warbler and several of the matrons watching the scene. Reverend Summerall was lurking behind them. There were smiles on all their faces.
Mars didn’t release his hold and neither did she. Instead, he said to Mrs. Warbler, “Don’t get any ideas. You were lucky with us but we can’t have you all matchmaking.”
