They didn’t move an inch. Mars felt as if he had turned to clay. One step and he would crack.
He hadn’t done it.
Years of waiting for the day when he could give Dervil the same treatment his father had received, and he’d failed.
Dervil was not so impaired. After several moments of silence, his shoulders slumped as if he had been steeling himself to take the bullet. He nodded, an acknowledgment that Mars was a worthy opponent.
Mars did not nod back.
Dervil turned and walked over to Roberts and the other man who had been holding his jacket and hat. He handed his pistol to Thurlowe and put on his clothing. The men laughed at something he said, and he and his compatriots walked off to the waiting coach.
No words had been spoken between theduelists and Mars doubted if anything would ever be said between them again.
Balfour and Thurlowe approached Mars. “I’m glad you didn’t shoot him,” the doctor said.
“I wish I had,” Mars answered. Then he might feel better. As it was, he’d been drained of all energy. “I have prepared myself for close to a decade and now—what? Did I lack the courage?”
“No, you came to your senses,” Thurlowe answered in his forthright manner. “I can’t tell you how relieved I am.”
Mars could feel Balfour’s scrutiny. He looked at the older man. “What?” Mars demanded.
Balfour raised his brow as if innocent. “Nothing. I, too, am relieved. Come, let us break our fast.”
Mars shook his head and offered his pistol to Balfour to place in the dueling case. “No, I want to go home to Clarissa. She was worried. I need to tell her what happened.” And he wanted to talk, to explain that she had saved him today. That, yes, she and Dora mattered. That maybe he loved her in return.
“Well, I for one will go to breakfast. Come along, Balfour.” Thurlowe started for the hack.
Balfour smiled. “This was hard on him,” he confided to Mars. “He had no desire to operate on you.”
“And I am free to live my life as I wish,” Mars agreed although there was little enthusiasm in his voice.
“Wait.” Balfour took Mars’s arm and turnedhim to face him. “You handled yourself honorably. Your father would have been proud.”
“Dervil escapes justice.”
Thurlowe had stopped, hearing the exchange. “You pay him in kind and your life is ruined, just as it is beginning. Where is the justice in that? Besides, you have someone now who cares about you. Let us be honest, before our wives, we were all living very much on the surface of things. I didn’t know how much I was missing until I had someone challenge me the way Gemma does. She is my closest confidante. I trust you two but Gemma brings a different depth to our discussions. Do you know, I would no more think of rejoining the Logical Men’s Society than I would cutting off my right hand. Even the two of you can’t match what Gemma means to me.”
Balfour nodded. “I adore Kate. And our little Anne lights up when I enter the nursery and it is as if I’ve been knighted by the king himself. I agree with Thurlowe. I chased the wrong things for a long time. My life is richer with Kate.” Then he lowered his voice to add, “And so is yours with Clarissa. She is a jewel, Mars. An intelligent woman is a gift to her husband. Yes, some women are annoying... but not the ones we married.”
He was right. In fact, if anything, Mars was the selfish one. He pictured her as he’d left her. She’d done all in her power to deter him from what could have been an ill-fated action and she’d acted out of love. She’d also known that if he had shot Dervil, he would despise himself.
The bloodlust for revenge inside him had been changed by his love for his wife. She had been the one who was on his mind in those last minutes. The voice of reason inside of him, and he could no longer deny what was true—he loved her.
He still wasn’t certain what love was, but he knew he must have Clarissa in his life. “I’m going home.”
His friends smiled as if he had joined a new society. A society of logical gentlemen who admired and appreciated their wives.
He walked with them to where their coach waited, gave each a brotherly hug, thanking them for their support, and watched them leave before he untied Bruno’s reins and set the horse for home.
The morning traffic had picked up. Usually it was an annoyance. Today, Mars was so pleased over the way matters had played out, he had a wellspring of patience.
Tonight, he would sleep well. He would admit his faults to his wife. Clarissa would like that. Then, he would make amends for what had happened last night. He’d show her how much he adored her. Tomorrow would be the vote. He would vote against Dervil... and they would head home. Dora needed them. He wanted his daughter to look at him as if he was the hero of her world.
He also wanted to be a hero to Clarissa. He trusted she would forgive him.
All was quiet in Grosvenor Square when he and Bruno reached the house. The front dooropened. Dalton had been waiting for him. A footman came out to take Bruno to the stables.
Mars handed the horse over and went up the step, taking his hat off as he entered the house. He handed it to Dalton. He looked around, half expecting Clarissa to be waiting someplace for him—if for nothing more than to tell him how disappointed she was. He grinned. She was going to be so pleased she was right.
