“We were at odds.” A slight smile softened his features. He stood with his hands at his sides. The light from the candle and the fire played across the handsome features of his face, his shoulders. “But you are not the only one who resisted, Gemma. Not the only one who was angry. I didn’t believe women were to be trusted. You’ve proved me wrong. Slipped past my guard. I’ve come to know you as one of the most generous, intelligent of souls. More important, I trust you. You were the only one I knew I could turn to with Kate and her baby. I believed you would come, and you did.”
“I also attacked you in the coach.”
Her words hung in the air a moment before he tilted his head and laughed.
She was entranced. She’d never heard Ned laugh. The sound of it was better than music... until he sobered.
“We are standing almost naked in your kitchen. There is a bed in the other room.”
She placed her hand against his hard jaw. “Are you willing to jilt Clarissa Taylor?”
His manner changed. He tensed. “I love you.”
“Will you jilt Clarissa?” Gemma repeated.
A bleakness came to his eye. “It would ruin her.”
“I know.”
“She doesn’t love me. She barely knows me and that is more my fault than hers.”
Gemma nodded, her throat tightening. He was right because once Clarissa knew the full measureof this man, she couldn’t help but love him as much as Gemma did. And that hurt.
He looked away and released his breath slowly. “We can’t do this, can we?” He indicated the clothes on the floor at their feet, the room, their love.
“I can’t hurt her that way. Neither can you.” And then, to her horror, the dam broke inside her. A sob escaped and she would have collapsed save for his arms coming around her.
He carried her to a chair at the table and sat. He held her in his lap as if she was precious to him. She placed her head in the crook of his neck and let the tears come until she was spent.
For a long time they were quiet. She never wanted to forget the scent of him or the feel of his arms around her.
Or the way he looked so earnest when he said he loved her.
A rooster crowed in the distance, too early for it to be dawn. Athena appeared from where she hid and observed them solemnly before padding off into the darkness of the taproom and beyond.
“You must go,” she whispered. She traced the profile of his face with one finger. He caught her finger with his lips and then pressed his face into her palm.
“Gemma,” he said, her name a benediction—and then she rose to stand aside.
He came to his feet, as well.
A last kiss was tempting... They both turned away. He picked up his jacket from the floor, buttoned what she had undone, and left.
Gemma watched him go, and then realized she’d been wrong—her tears had not been spent. She collapsed to the floor and let them come.
Ned began to feel as if he was living two lives.
One was as that of the doctor promised to a lovely, congenial woman whom he had no desire to kiss.
The other was as a man who had lost his best friend, his chance for happiness, and often, his equilibrium. What sort of world brought Gemma into his life when he could not have her?
His wedding day was fast approaching. He still called on Clarissa for fifteen minutes every Friday for the short time they had left. He sat with her and her guardians during Sunday services. He struggled to keep his gaze from drifting to wherever Gemma was sitting, especially when the banns were announced.
Any planning for the Frost lecture he turned over to Royce... because it would be too difficult for Ned to share this project closest to his heart with the woman who owned The Garland and not make a fool of himself. He gave instructions and his faithful man carried them out, offering Ned a report almost every evening. Ned discovered his dream had lost its luster.
However, to his surprise, many of the village women were interested in the topic of the heavens and the stars and were excited to attend. Because their wives were interested, more marriedmen were committed to attend than last year. And that was without the lure of all the ale they could drink and rook pie.
Gemma had also opened her tea garden. From all accounts the gardens themselves were a mere shadow to what they would become by summer. People didn’t mind. The Garland presented itself as a cozy hub for the community, especially once the tinker found the duckpins Gemma wanted. Immediately, the Logical Men’s Society returned to the tavern.
