“I saw the look in her eye when you sent that wagon.”
That was interesting news. “If she accepted it, she could be gone from here by now.”
“She could have. That is why I’m warning you away. Leave her alone. She’s happy in her life.” He released his grip on Bran’s hand and walked away as if the matter was solved.
Bran glanced at Kate. Her attention was on the squire’s wife and Miss Taylor who were beaming with their enjoyment of the performance.
Kate probably didn’t even know he was here. Instead, she was reveling in her success. She’d changed everyone’s opinion of her. She had that power. It was her gift.
And what did he have?
The question haunted him as he found his horse and returned to The Garland.
Ned had already come back. Mr. Remy was still talking about rock formations to the two men who had stayed behind and Old Andy. Natural science was something that interested Bran, but not today. Bran didn’t even know why he was there except that he had no place else to go. Kate certainly didn’t need him, and when she had, he’d not been there for her.
Bran didn’t remember much of what he said or was said to him the rest of the afternoon. He did not taste Andy’s pie. He didn’t want to drink.
No, instead, his mind was on years ago when he’d assumed the worst and had thrown away someone who had been more important to him than he could have imagined.
Even this morning, he’d wanted to insist it had been lust between him and Kate, because, apparently, he had a skill for lying to himself.
He understood why she had felt betrayed. He also believed she was right.
Later, instead of returning home, he found himself standing in the woods surrounding the actors’ encampment. They were gathered around a fire and excitedly talking about the success of the day in that way actors had.
Bran listened, but he could not join them.
Regret was a bitter medicine.
Whether he liked it or not, Kate was lost to him. He was not worthy of her.
He was close.
Kate sensed his presence. She’d known Brandon was there the moment he had arrived.
And she remembered hours of whispered promises, breakfast dishes, and the wild, sweet glow of having found love. She remembered having him inside her, his breath against her ear, and believing it was the most marvelous feeling in the world.
This afternoon, while the duke and the Earl of Marsden had battled for her favors, Brandon had stood apart. He’d not told her what he thought of the play. Or her performance.
Had he recognized that many of the stories she’d used on stage had been the ones he’d once told her?
Now here he was, out in the woods like a silent sentry. He did not seek her out. Not this night.
She wondered what he was thinking. Did he have the same regrets she did? The same questions?
Years ago, she had wanted him to rescue her. Instead, she’d had to learn how to rescue herself. And yet, there was something deep and empty inside of her, a place that only he had been able to fill.
She caught herself playing “what if?” What if he’d been there for her? What if there had been no Hemling? Or if she had not been so trusting as to go to that ill-fated meeting spot?
How different both of their lives would have been.
Would they have been happy?
The questions kept her up for most of the night.
Chapter Ten
“I write.” Mrs. Warbler spoke to Kate as if she was delivering a dark secret.
