“You and I have always agreed that it seems a shabby way to live.”
Cassandra nodded and returned to her list. “Finally, I must remind you that the duke isyoung. Young, titled, and very, very handsome.”
“And broke. You forgot he barely has a shilling to spare.”
“Yes, but you have plenty, and your father is determined to use his money and his power to marry you to a title.” Almost gently, she pointed out, “Hewillmarry you off, you know, one way or the other. With or without your permission. You could find yourself with worse than Camberly. You could be married to the Marquis of Ellmore who is in his dotage and impossibly crotchety. I can’t imagine seeing him naked.”
Willa’s mind revolted at the image as well.
“Or to the Viscount Longford, who I hear is looking for a mother for his twelve children. They also say he is anxious to breed an even twenty.” Her voice dropped to a whisper to add, “His first and second wives died in childbirth, poor women.”
Children were an uncomfortable topic for Willa. Last week, she’d overheard her mother’s friends speculating about whether a woman as petite as Willa could successfully bear the child of a man as big as Camberly. Their prognosis, and the stories they had shared with one another, had been alarming.
And it was a cruel way to die.
However, Cassandra’s reminder that her fatherwouldmarry her off was sobering.
Leland Reverly never left an asset untapped. A daughter was definitely to be used for his advantage.
Willa shifted in her chair. “Do you know what I’ve been doing since I sent that message to Camberly this morning? I’ve been trying to consider what I wish to do with my life. I mean, ever since I can remember, my sole purpose has been, as you point out, to marry well. But shouldn’t there be something more in life?”
“What do you mean?”
“You are starting a school. You’ve always had a dream to create new ideas and now you are doing it.”
“But that is just the person I am.”
“Did you know Leonie is becoming an authority on roses? Lady Vickery was telling me she’d sent a cutting of one of her prized bushes to Leonie.”
“She’s written about her interests in her letters to me,” Cassandra answered.
“You both have purpose. You are clever and you do meaningful things. What can I do?”
“You are very good at needlework. Far better than I am.”
“Ah, I can darn socks.”
“Don’t mock it. Sock darning is an important skill for most of us.”
“But not a rich man’s daughter.” Willa shrugged. “Servants have always taken care of matters for me.”
“Interests will come to you,” Cassandra said soothingly, “once you start living your life.”
“I don’t know if that is true. I have a deep fear that there is nothing of substance about me. I spent most of this day trying to imagine what I could devote myself to.”
“And what did you decide?”
“Nothing,” Willa answered. “The paper on my desk is blank. It is as if I can define myself only in terms of attracting a husband. It is all that has ever been asked of me. I offer nothing else to the world.”
“You are being too hard on yourself.”
“Perhaps I haven’t been hard enough.”
Cassandra leaned forward, reaching a hand out to her. “Willa, you are a strong, vibrant woman. You will find your meaning in time.”
Willa wasn’t certain. “If I don’t I shall be like Kitty Pakenham.”
Cassandra wrinkled her forehead. “Kitty Pakenham? Isn’t she the General Lord Wellington’s wife?”
