“Isn’t that how it is supposed to be?”
“For a duchess? No. Not even for a rich man’s daughter. Why should you be more fortunate than the rest of us? Or believe you have higher expectations?”
Willa faced her mother. “Because I want itall. And, to be honest, I was starting to believe I did.”
“What is ‘all’?”
“A husband who doesn’t disappear whenever I need him. Who cherishes me and acts as if he enjoys my company.” Matt had almost convinced her both of those things were true. Of course, this morning by the river, she’d had her first brush with the truth. “I want to believe that I matter to someone.” She’d wanted to matter tohim.
“You matter, Willa. You are a duchess. His duchess. A woman can ask for no more in life.”
“I can. I don’t want to be a blank piece of paper.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I won’t settle. Not in love. Or in how I live my life.”
“Your father and I have provided well for you.”
“You have. But you have also kept me on a shelf, waiting for the right time to marry me off at a good advantage.”
Her mother compressed her lips in a tight, hard line. The sound of the coach wheels over cobblestones filled the silence between them. They were not far from home. The horses had picked up their pace.
And then, her mother reached for the speaker tube between passenger and driver. “Take us to the Duke of Camberly’s.” Her mother sat back in the seat.
Willa’s hands clenched into fists. “You are returning me to him? Even though I don’t wish to go?”
“You won’t discover if you truly matter to him hiding in your childhood bed,” her mother answered. “You must face him.”
“I don’t know if I wish to. What do I say?”
“What you just told me. You were very articulate.”
“But it is harder speaking to him that way.”
“Then you are lying to yourself. Willa, people don’t just hand over what you want. You take it. Not speaking to Camberly will lead you nowhere. I know.” Her mother was quiet a moment before saying, “You believe I don’t care what your father does—”
“He is selfish, how can you tolerate him?”
“Because I love him,” her mother answered. “Because in spite of what he does and who he is, I wish to think that someday, there will be something meaningful between us. And also because I have few other choices. You see, I hid from your father instead of speaking my truth. I can’t say that if I had done things differently, we might be different. He is a hard man, and a frightened one. He’s afraid of being poor, of aging, of being overlooked. But I’m at peace with that. I was the one who didn’t believe I had a right to make demands. I was silly.” She turned to look at the passing scenery. “Don’t you be silly, Willa. You’ve told Camberly how you feel. Now you owe it to yourself to hear him out.”
The coach rolled to a stop. The ever-vigilant Marshall opened the house door to welcome her home.
Willa reached for her mother’s hand. “What if I truly don’t matter to my husband?”
“Then you are in no different a place than where you are right now, except he does care. I saw his face.”
“But does he care enough to loveme?”
“Possibly. And I’m jealous. Now go on. A good night’s sleep will do wonders.”
Sleep was always her mother’s answer to all the trials of life. There had been a time when Willa had wanted to scream when she heard her mother say it.
Now, she kissed her mother’s cheek. “Thank you.”
Her mother smiled, but then a thoughtful look crossed her face. “How did you know to search for Camberly?”
“Lady Evanston told me that my husband wished me to go to that room. She said he had a surprise for me.”
