“With this?” He held up the bottle. “Why, leave it here.” He set it on the bedside table.
“About—?” she started, and then stopped. Perhaps she didn’t want an answer.
He completed her question. “About this marriage?”
About us.But she didn’t speak those words. She was wary of his mood. He seemed calm, too calm. Silence was best. She knew he was angry but there was another deeper emotion that she couldn’t quite define at play, and then she recognized it—disappointment. Disillusion.
“Oh, we are married,” he said. “I need your money.”
Those words were like pinpoints of pain. He only spoke the truth, and yet, she was startled by the heartache. And really—why? She didn’t owe him anything. They didn’t know each other, not well at least.
He’d said he loved her.If he did, he wouldn’t have this frightening coldness about him.
Leonie reached for her pride, her defiance, except that it was hard to hold her head high—especially since she was so aware of the brandy bottle close at hand.
Roman acted as if he waited for an answer from her. When she didn’t speak, a mask dropped over his face. “I thought we had a chance.” He turned away from her. “You see, I meant the vows I spoke, the ones you can’t remember.”
She deserved that as well. What sort of woman could not remember her marriage ceremony?
“I’m not without sin myself, Leonie. I’m not perfect and I do not expect that of you—butthis, the drinking, I can’t support this. I will not. I’ve seen what it does to men and to women. I’ve seen your mother—”
“I amnotmy mother.” That brought her head up.
“Or your father?” he queried. He shook his head. “We are all products of our parents. And I am the blind fool who wanted to pretend it wasn’t true.”
Itwasn’ttrue...Except, a small voice warned her from within,how could it not be?
But Roman wasn’t finished. “You must understand, Leonie, your shame is not that you were raped or that you killed the man who did it in self-defense. It is thatyou can’t look yourself in a mirror.” He raked his fingers through his hair, pressing his lips together as if he had said too much.
And then he seemed to reach a decision.
He shrugged, his eyes bright with anger. “You can return to London. Live the life you want. But you’ll not do it with the money I soldmy soulto earn. That goes to creating a life for me and my family. Agood one. You may have your bottle. Enjoy your night.” He picked up his boots, his shirt, and his coat, and before she knew what he was about, he unlocked the door and walked out.
Leonie stared as the door closed behind him.
He’d left her?What did this mean?
She thought about going out into the hall and ordering him back... a silly idea because the man who had confronted her was in no mood for a reconciliation of any sort.
Indeed, he’d already made his judgement. She was irredeemable. She was like her parents!
Well, there were many people who admired the Charnocks...
Leonie’s eye caught her reflection in the glass. Even in the room’s shadowy darkness, she could not recognize herself.
She raised the towel to her check. The reflection raised a towel to its cheek. Itwasher.
And there, beside the bed in the reflection, was the brandy bottle. Uncorked.
If she had a sip, she would feel better.
The pulsing pain in her cheek and lip would ease.
The world,herworld, might become a bit more tolerable.
You can return to London. Live the life you want.Hadn’t that been what she’d asked?
Except, the ultimatum did not fill her with joy. He wasn’t offering freedom.
