She started as if his observation had surprised her.
“I do the same,” he admitted.
“We are nothing alike,” she assured him.
“Perhaps we are more so than you imagine? We are both fiercely independent and have high ideals and are willing to battle to the wall for what we believe.” He didn’t wait for her response but concluded, “We are also both afraid of making a wrong decision. And powerless to make the right one.”
That was true. Gavin no longer knew what he wanted.
“Come,” he said, taking her arm. “The hour grows late. Let us leave.” He would have started in the direction of the gate, but Sarah pulled away from him.
“What is it you want?” she demanded. She took a step closer to him, lowering her voice. “Do you want sex? Then why didn’t you take it last night? Or when we were back at the hotel? Why go through this?” She motioned to include the gardens.
“What is your complaint?” he countered. “You haven’t shown enthusiasm for our agreement.”
“Oh,” she said, feigning ignorance, “you want me to be enthusiastic as I sell myself? I didn’t understand. Here, let me try again, Your Grace.” She shook her bosom at him and pursed her lips. “Gavin, I am beside myself. Thank you for keeping me as a pet—”
“That is not true and you know it.” Heat colored every word.
Her anger evaporated. “I do. You are a decent man and I don’t say that lightly. But I don’t know what you want. Do you want me to fawn over you? To offer love—?”
“I’ve not asked for love. Just a bit of grace, Sarah. I feel like one of the jugglers this evening, constantly meeting others’ expectations. Even yours. I yearn for a safe place.”
It wasn’t until he spoke the words, he realized how true they were.
And how had he arrived to this moment in life when he had done everything expected of him and yet felt as if he lived a life that was not his own?
And what had made him think he could find the answer in Sarah?
“Let’s leave,” he said and began walking to the gate.
Chapter Fourteen
Sarah watched him walk away.
Roland had not been the only one to teach her hard lessons. Men in general were not to be trusted. How many times had she witnessed the faithlessness of men like Geoff and Charles and a host of others who had assured her she had no place in their world?
And yet, Baynton had given her paper.
He’d given her paper.
However, he did not stop to see if she followed.
For a second, she thought of staying right where she was and letting him go, but then her feet moved in his direction, and she didn’t understand why. It had nothing to do with her play or his wanting her in his bed.
It was something deeper than those things. He was the most obnoxious man she knew, and the only one she’d come to respect.
Baynton seemed to know she was coming. His step slowed, giving her the opportunity to catch him. She stopped when she was within a foot of him.
He halted as well.
“My following you doesn’t mean I’ve decided to do whatever you wish,” she informed him.
“Oh no, Sarah, I could never imagine that.”
His dry comment startled her with its truth. Every step of the way, Baynton had allowed her to meet him as an equal. Here, at last, was a man who was honest with her whether she wanted to hear what he had to say or not. Deception was not part of his character—and that was when she knew they could be lovers.
Lovers.
