Gavin couldn’t remember the last time he had been out on the water. He thought of his country estate and realized it had been years since he’d visited there as well. Or had taken time to indulge himself in something that wasn’t an obligation.
The gardens were alive with music, acrobats, jugglers, and revelers—and that was before they made it in the front gates. A large party of people was dressed for a masquerade. The costumes appealed to Sarah’s sense of the theatrical and Gavin enjoyed her observations.
Inside, paper lanterns brightened the encroaching darkness. He rented a box and they ate what had to be the worst supper he’d ever had and yet, the most entertaining. For once, he and Sarah were talking to each other as friends.
On a small outdoor stage, an Italian singer was followed by a quartet of musicians. After eating their cold chicken and having a few glasses of iced champagne, Sarah and Gavin walked the paths. They were not alone. There were scores of couples out this night.
Sarah talked easily about her plans for her play. Gavin enjoyed her enthusiasm. That, too, had been something missing from his life.
Night settled upon them. The conversation was light, teasing, easy. He did not have difficulty expressing exactly what was on his mind with Sarah. She was not one to hold back, either, giving freely of her opinions.
The first time she touched his arm without his encouragement, Gavin almost froze. He did not comment on it and a few minutes later, she tapped his arm, to let him know she didn’t think Liverpool was doing all that he could—an opinion Gavin agreed with.
Sarah was a surprisingly astute observer of politics. They even verbally sparred a bit when their opinion differed and then—wonder of all wonders, she said, “I don’t know how you manage to listen to them carrying on in the Lords, all saying the same thing over and over again, Gavin. I would go quite mad.”
Gavin. He came to a dead stop while she walked on, wrapped up in her topic until she realized he wasn’t beside her. She faced him.
He toyed with the idea of letting her know what she’d done, and then decided to let it go, to see if she would speak his name again. He moved to catch up to her and let his hand brush hers before boldly taking hold.
Sarah did not pull away. She looked up at him. “You are quite good at this, you know.”
“At what?” he asked innocently.
“Managing your own way. Don’t think I don’t know what you are doing.”
“What am I doing?”
“This.” She lifted the hand he held.
“And is it so terrible?”
She looked up at him, her eyes reflecting the lantern light. “I don’t want to trust you,” she whispered.
“But you do.”
Sarah ignored him, saying, “I’m best alone. Can you understand that? I have peace alone.”
Thoughts he had once believed, but now he wondered. “I’m being told there can’t be any of us alone.” He referred to his mother and aunt’s plan for his marriage.
“It is different for you. I’ve tried marriage. It was not good.”
“In what way?”
She pulled her hand from his and he let her go. However, he wasn’t going to let the topic escape.
His step in line with hers, he said, “Speak to me, Sarah. Tell me. Don’t hold another man’s sins against me.”
Her back stiffened. For a heartbeat of time, he expected her to demand to return to her hotel, but then she said, “I don’t believe in love. I won’t. Do you understand that? I don’t have anything in me to give.”
“And yet, you championed your niece’s desire to marry for love.”
“Did I have a choice? I wanted her to have what was due her because of her class, her lineage. It was the only route open to her. I am proud to say, she did not make a bad marriage.”
“I agree. However, I remember you were set on letting her make up her own mind.”
“As should be her right.”
“And yet you keep a tighter rein on yourself.”
