“Shit! I have to go. My father has an event this afternoon.” He rushes about the room, collecting his things.
I should stop him—tell him to move in.
Say the words.
I love you, Felix.
“D-do you need any help?” is what comes out of my mouth.
Felix looks up, his eyes mischievous. “You’ve done more than enough, stud. I won’t be sitting down for a week.”
I force a laugh.Just say the words, Torren.
“Are we going to hang out later?” I ask.FUCK ME!
The words are there, sitting in my chest, clawing to get out.
Felix throws his bag over his shoulder and pauses. “Absolutely.”
It’s so definitive, resolute, that it makes my racing heart calm down. I want to say it so badly, but maybe doing so while he’s rushing out isn’t the best way to go about it?
“Good,” I respond.
Felix stands at the top of the staircase, looking at me with an unreadable expression. “Well, I gotta go. Bye, babe.”
“See ya.”
His shoulders sag a little—just enough that I notice, and something in my chest tightens.
Then he hurries down the stairs to his bike, and I follow. “Wait!”
Felix stops at the garage door and looks at me. When I reach him, my throat closes. My chest feels tight, and that sick feeling rumbles in my stomach.
“Call me when you can, okay?”
Felix smiles. “Count on it, handsome.”
He kisses my cheek and peddles away.
I’m left standing there, alone, with the words still stuck in my throat.
And the sick, sinking knowledge that I fucked up.Big time.
Felix
I arrive at the house and rush to the back entrance, hoping I have enough time to wash the smell of sex off my body. I checked my phone calendar last night and saw a horrible event posted for this afternoon, so I have an hour to get ready.
I think.
I check the calendar again and see…nothing.
Huh?
It must have gotten canceled. Wow, I wish I had seenthis before I left Torren’s. We could have fucked some more.
Oh well.
I scamper upstairs, passing the pictures of my father looking imposing and cold, fling open the bedroom door, and turn on the light.
