Once we were dried off and lying in bed together, Theo said, “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, too.”
It was the happiest moment of my life.
Chapter 20
Theo
Mom was putting the finishing touches on Asher’s birthday cake, while the twins hung up a multi-coloredHappy Birthdaysign just above the doorway leading into the kitchen. Unbeknownst to me, Mom had been planning a little party for Asher’s birthday since right after he moved in. I swear, she had half of New Rochelle’s birthday marked down on an honest-to-God monthly planner that looked to be older than me. I was so grateful for them because I knew this was going to be a tough birthday for Asher. His mom hadn’t even tried to reach out since he left. It was like he left and she couldn’t care less. It had to hurt, but Asher kept those feelings close to the vest. No matter how many times I told him to talk to me, Asher equated telling me about his problems with dumping his baggage on me. I hoped that someday he’d feel comfortable enough to talk about his past with me, but I couldn’t push him. He needed time to figure out how and when he wanted to talk.
The pressure to make the party perfect left me absolutely clueless about what to get him. I’d racked my brain trying tothink of a gift.
I wasn’t great at gifts to begin with, and it was hard to resist buying something cute, like a locket with our pictures in it. After agonizing over it for days, I finally landed on what I thought would be the perfect gift.
Cody and Rafael would be making an appearance, and I was excited to see them. It had been a minute since we’d all hung out because of their grueling summer training schedule at Montier, but they managed to get out of a couple of practices to make the trip home for the party.
I knew Asher would be happy to see them.
It was getting near the time when Cody and Rafael were expected to arrive, so I ran upstairs to check on Asher. When I walked into our bedroom, he was sitting on the bed, looking out the window. I didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to know he was feeling kind of blue. I closed the distance between us and sat beside him.
“How’s my birthday boy?” I asked, trying desperately to project cheerfulness.
Asher turned to me, and I could instantly see him masking his true emotions. The bright smile looked like a caricature of what a smile should be. “I’m good, babe. Just thinking… which is never a good thing, but I’m good.”
I’d closed the door on my way in and felt comfortable lacing our fingers together. “It’s okay to feel sad, baby. You don’t have to pretend.”
Asher closed his eyes and shook his head. “No, your family is throwing a party for me. This hasn’t happened since my grandma was still in my life. I feel really grateful right now. It’s just—”
His gaze became lost, staring at something that only he couldsee. “Nothing. Never mind.”
No, that wasn’t good. He needed to let it out. I wanted him to talk to me—it was too hard on him to keep it locked inside. I leaned in and kissed his temple before whispering, “Talk to me, baby.”
Asher shuddered when I said that. His gaze turned to me, his green eyes glassy with emotion. “I feel so selfish. I shouldn’t feel this way.”
I pulled him in closer, trying to give him the safety he needed to speak. “Don’t tell yourself how youshouldfeel. Just feel it, Asher. You can talk to me. You’re safe.”
“I am, aren’t I?” he asked. The tears fell, and I pulled him into my chest. He turned his head and whispered, “It’s just… It’s so hard when the one person who is supposed to love you more than anyone can’t stand you. It makes me feel broken. Like, what’s wrong with me? Why am I unlovable?”
Those words. They hit me like a bullet to the heart. I hated that woman so much. How could she not see how special Asher was? How could she not treasure him? He was literally my favorite person on the planet. How could she be so cruel?
“No. No, you’re not broken.She’sbroken. Anyone who does that to their child is unwell, Asher. It’s not you. She’s a bitter person who took it out on you because you were there. Period. It has nothing to do with you. She would have been horrible to any child she birthed because she’s selfish and cruel.” I cupped his face with my hands so I could speak my next words directly to him. “You are the most lovable person I know. I love you, Asher. I love you so much.”
“Really?” he asked.
“With my whole heart.”
“Theo, I love you so much!” He leapt on top of me, shakingas he cried. “Fuck her,” he said.
“Yeah. Fuck her. You’re amazing, Asher. You deserve to be loved, and I’m going to love you for the rest of my life. You’re fuckin’ stuck with my big ass.”
Asher started laughing through the tears. Then, wiping his cheeks, he looked up at me and asked, “Promise?”
“Promise,” I said it with my whole chest because I believed it. Asher was my everything, and I knew without a shred of doubt that I’d love him until my last breath.
Asher
My hands fumbled with the wrapping paper. I didn’t expect gifts. I didn’twantgifts. Maria and Anthony were letting me stay in their home for free and even planned a birthday party for me, complete with freaking gifts. It was too much.
“Who’s that one from?” Maria asked.
