“Ah!” I literally screamed, and Reggie looked at me wide-eyed. “Why would you do that? Why would you sneak up like that? What the hell’s the matter with you?”
She sat at the table holding a book, blinking at me. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you. Are you okay? You look…agitated.”
Agitated? Yeah, I was fucking agitated! My best friend wasupstairs naked, and all I could think about was shoving my tongue in his ass.I am very agitated!“What? No, I’m not agitated. I just need water.”
Reggie’s eyes fell onto the glass that was nearly overflowing with water. I actually think I spilled some on the floor when she startled me. “Put more in there and it might overflow,” she said.
“I need afreshglass of water,” I replied pointedly.
I didn’t pour the water into the sink. Ithrewit in like the shit owed me money, then refilled it with water from the Brita.
As I took a sip, Reggie asked, “How’s Asher?” I choked on the water like I had with Abigail. Apparently, my throat stopped working when someone uttered his name. I coughed and coughed until Reggie rose to her feet to pat my back. “Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked.
I finally got it under control and replied, “I’m fine. I gotta go to bed.”
I left the kitchen and ran back upstairs to my room. When I walked in, the lights were out, and Asher was in bed.
My eyes adjusted to the darkness, and I could see the faint outline of his face.
It was true. I was crushing. I was crushing hard.
That’s where it all came from. Nobody was allowed to hurt Asher because he wasmine.He’s my friend. He’s my guy. He’s my…
I leaned against the door and closed my eyes.
What am I going to do?
There wasn’t anything I could do at that moment, so I decided to just get in bed and go to sleep.
Did I sleep? Nah. Not really. I was too busy trying to put as much distance as possible between Asher and me while alsowanting to roll over and scoop him up in my arms.
I didn’t know what any of it meant. It made my stomach hurt.
What does this mean? Why is it hitting me now? How did I not see it before?
To top it off, we were at my parents’ house. It wasn’t even like we were at school.
And, if Abigail was right, thenhemight be gay too. And then…
Could we?
Not in my parents’ house!
I rubbed the heels of my hands into my eyes. It was all too much.
What am I going to do?
Chapter 16
Asher
It was Saturday, and we stood on the ice, waiting for the Head Coach to speak. No matter how many years I’d played hockey, I could never shake the first-practice jitters. Combine that with being on a new team, and my stomach was inside out. You’d think I would have been used to it. I’d already played for two different teams: the Vipers in high school, and the Bobcats at Callahan University. But this was different. I was in the PCSHL now, playing with the Westchester Warriors.
The PCSHL was one of the premier NCAA Summer Hockey Leagues and had the potential to open some serious doors—opportunities that could help a guy like me go from a piece of crap in a rundown apartment in New Rochelle to playing in the NHL. You had to be at least a Division II player to get a spot, and the league had a reputation for sculpting players into powerhouse athletes.
Division I coaches would be coming to our games, hoping to spot someone worth poaching with big scholarships. Scouts would be there too. Forget Division I college—this league wasthe real dream: the possibility of being recruited for farm leagues or even going pro.
There were twenty-four other players around me, and we all shared the same goal: to be the best.
