Hank wrapped an arm around Jill and said, “Honey, wait for me in the front yard while I talk to the boys.”
She ran into the house, and Hank approached. “Well. I can’t say I’m terribly surprised, but Jill certainly is.” Hank continued, “Why don’t you boys clean yourselves off. Then, we’ll discuss this…situation.”
Cody and I looked at each other before I said, “Guess we’re ripping off the band-aid today, huh?”
Chapter 37
Cody
Droplets of sweat traveled from my armpit down my side. Sitting across from Hank and Mom made the hot cabin feel nearly boiling. Rafael sat to my left, and we held hands. Mom looked down at the joined hands, then closed her eyes and swallowed.
We sat silently for a moment, each party assessing how best to begin the conversation. I’d handled many crises for someone so young, but nothing prepared me for this.
Hank cleared his throat and leaned forward. “How long has this been going on?” he asked.
Rafael and I shot each other a glance. Should we be honest? Say that the close quarters of the cabin make us see our affection for one another? It was unclear how they would feel knowing we had been doing this right under their noses for over a month.
“Pretty much since I arrived,” Rafael answered.
Guess we’re taking the high road and being brutally honest.
Mom sat a little straighter in her chair. Her face crumpled into a twisted raisin of confusion and indignation. “Since you arrived? I’m sorry, are you telling me this has been happening the entire time?”
My heart had turned into a marching band and it was on its way to marching right the fuck out of my chest and landing on the floor. If I could melt into the earth and vanish, I would have at that moment.
“W-well, then what was the fighting about?” Hank asked.
Mom rolled her eyes and snarled, “Well, obviously Cody was upset that Rafael was leaving because they’re…they’re…”
“Boyfriends,” I blurted out.
Mom put her finger up to me and said, “No. No, we’re not using that word. You two are stepbrothers. Stepbrothers.” She elongated the syllables the second time she said it, driving home her point. “Stepbrothers cannot be boyfriends,” she added.
“Well, we are,” I said.
“No, you are not.”
“Yes. We. Are.” I replied.
Mom sat there, wide-eyed. Hank patted her wrist and said, “Let’s all calm down.”
“No! No, I will not calm down. Cody, you are not gay,” Mom stated.
I cocked my head to the side. How could she be so sure? What made her believe this with such conviction? Just because I played hockey or whatever didn’t mean my sexuality was set in stone like the Ten Commandments. “I don’t know what I am, but I could be gay,” I replied. “I know I love Rafael, and that’s pretty gay, don’t you think?”
“Maybe he’s bi, Jill,” Hank added.
“Both of you stop!” Mom rose from her chair and paced around the room. “Is this because you didn’t have a father? That son of a bitch. He left us, and you didn’t have a man to help you learn.”
“What?” I asked. “You think I love Rafael because Dad left? What the hell? This isn’t because of some past trauma. Rafael and I developed a relationship, and I fell in love with him. Period. It has nothing to do with you or Dad or anybody.”
“Of course, it has everything to do with me!” Mom stood in the center of the cabin, shaking. “Your life was a mess because of my choices, and now this is happening. I’m just a failure. I can’t do anything –”
“Don’t do that,” I commanded.
Mom’s face looked up at me, shocked by my tone. “What?” she asked.
“Nothing is happening. There’s no reason for you to be falling apart. Pull yourself together and act like an adult.”
