He retrieved the bedding strewn about the room and draped the sheets over me, followed by the comforter. He tucked me in and then went back downstairs.
He returned with a glass of water and a bottle of pain medicine.
“Here. Let’s give you two of these for the head,” he said.
This was all I wanted. I wanted to bear witness to the beautiful heart he had hidden from the world. Did I need it all the time? No, I understood that Rafael was as complicated as a freaking Rubik’s cube, and asking for more than he was ready to give would only result in him pushing me away, but I wanted to see it sometimes. I needed to see it sometimes.
My whole being wanted to say that to him.I don’t need a lot. You can still be you. I love you. I just need the part of you you’re afraid of…sometimes.
“Thank you,” I said.
“Can I get you anything else?” he asked.
“No, come lie beside me. Please.”
Rafael got into bed and opened his arms, and I nestled into his embrace.
Perhaps the events of the previous twenty-four hours made me say it, but I had to. I had to know this was real, too. I had to know this wouldn’t be another heartbreak.
“Rafael.”
“Yeah?”
“Please don’t push me away again.”
His hand found mine, and we threaded our fingers together. “Never again. I promise.”
Rafael
The terror of losing Cody, combined with everything I’d kept locked inside, poured out of me all at once in the shower. I don’t think I ever felt safe enough to let myself cry that hard. When Mattie died, Mom and Hank stopped behaving like parents. The grief and subsequent hatred they felt for each other took hold of any mature impulse they had. Mom turned into a wreck, and Hank shut down. Then he left. There just wasn’t enough room for my grief.
Cody gave me the safety to feel everything. For the past four years, I felt so selfish whenever I wanted to reach out for help because I couldn’t help Mattie that day, and my parents were in no position to help me. I just got lost in their maddening chaos.
But Cody let me in. He didn’t push me away or make me feel less than. Cody wrapped his arms around me and just let me grieve. The poor angel even had a knot on his head the size of a fucking baseball and he still took care of me.
I love him.
I yearned to kiss him. So, I did. When our lips touched, it sealed the connection between us. With that one kiss, we turned the page on this tumultuous thing we had and silently decided to start anew.
Cody was my guy, and I was his. No matter the journey ahead, I knew one thing with certainty: Cody was a gift, and I’d never let him go again.
Chapter 35
Cody
The early morning light filtered through the dusty window, casting a warm glow over the room. Rafael’s arm still wrapped around my body, locking me in place.
I turned to face him, wriggling closer to nuzzle into the spot where his neck met his shoulder. He hummed his approval and pulled me in tighter.
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” I said.
One eye crept open as he said, “Sure, you didn’t.” He smirked and said, “I was already awake. It’s hard to sleep with that perfect ass of yours grinding into my cock.”
I planted little kisses along his neck, slowly making my way up to his mouth.
We kissed and he said, “I have sleep-breath.”
“I don’t care,” I responded. I’m sure mine wasn’t much better. It didn’t matter to me. Rafael’s scent was like an aphrodisiac. The muskier he was, the more aroused I became.
