I pulled the sheets up to cover my naked body.
I didn’t cry. No, I wouldn’t do that. I wasn’t going to shed one more tear for that heartless son of a bitch.
That was it—the last straw. If his goal was to push me away, he succeeded.
The numbness sank deep into my soul as I pressed my head to the pillow.
I told myself to sleep. Tomorrow, I’d train myself to extinguish whatever feelings I’d developed for him. In time, I’d feel nothing for him. He’d mean nothing to me.
And he’ll regret it.
Chapter 33
Rafael
The following day, Cody came downstairs and poured himself a bowl of cereal in complete silence.
I knew he was hurt. I knew what I did was fucked up, but I had to do it. This needed to stop. Whatever little game he was planning needed to come to an end.
I got up from the sofa, poured myself a bowl of cereal, and sat across from him at the little table. Cody didn’t look up. He kept his head down in a book the entire time he ate. Once he finished, he rose from his seat and left through the back door.
I peeked out the window to see him make his way to the dock by the lake. There was a little boat there, and my heart nearly stopped when I saw it. My legs moved without me realizing it. I ran down the grassy slope as he sat in the boat.
“No. Don’t take this thing out. It’s a fucking death trap. This whole cabin is. Nothing here is less than thirty years old, and you shouldn’t be taking this thing out on a lake.”
He said nothing. Cody continued unwrapping the rope that tethered the boat to a wooden pole.
“Cody, did you hear me?”
Nothing. He tossed the untied rope into the boat and grabbed the oars.
My hand latched onto his wrist. “Don’t do this, Cody.”
His eyes didn’t meet mine. He used the handle of the other oar to smack my hand away.
Cody started rowing the boat from the dock, and I screamed, “Look, I get it—you’re mad. You can do whatever you want, just don’t do this. Not this, Cody.”
Nothing. He continued rowing, and my heart traveled further up into my throat. He was nearly a quarter across the lake in the blink of an eye. “Where are you going?” I shouted.
Nothing. Cody said nothing. I ran my fingers through my hair and sat down on the dock. My hands shook and my vision blurred. I needed alcohol. The feeling was too much, and I needed to numb it. As I returned to the cabin, I remembered Sue taking my bottle.
Once I remembered it was gone, I fell to my knees and screamed into my hands.
Cody
I’d spent the whole day on the lake. The gentle rocking of the waves lulled me into a meditative state as I lay on the boat floor, gazing up at the sky. The sun vanished behind a blanket of billowy clouds. The warmth of the day didn’t feel oppressive like it had yesterday. The temperature felt amazing, a perfect balance between the hidden sun and the breeze from the lake.
I thought of nothing and everything at the same time. My eyes fell into the clouds above, while every encounter with Rafael played like a montage. There was no sound. It was just a series of grainy images featuring Rafael: the day he came for the wedding, when he moved in, our first fight in the car, his face at the hockey tryouts, his hand holding mine in the car. They all flashed in my mind like a slideshow.
I must have fallen asleep at some point because the next thing I knew, cool droplets of rain jolted me awake. There was no way of knowing what time it was, but I imagined I slept for hours. The sky above morphed into a dark canopy of clouds. I sat up once I heard the rumble of thunder and rowed back to the cabin.
It took me a while to get back. The boat must have drifted further away from shore because it was nearly dark when I returned. Lightning ripped through the sky, and a steady downpour followed. I tied the boat to the post and pulled the cover to keep the rain out. Then, I made my way up the grassy hill to the cabin.
The lights were out. Rafael was probably snoozing on the couch, and I dreaded seeing him again. As I approached the door, I decided that I’d make something quick for dinner, take it up to the bedroom, and eat alone.
Tomorrow, I’d call Sue and beg her to pick us up. I had no aspirations of making anything work between the two of us. His rejection of me last night still stung, and the idea of spending another five days in this cabin with Rafael made my gut coil.
I was done—time to go home.
