“No, I’m not done,” I shouted back, holding back the tears ready to fall. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. “You don’t need to be this way. You are so unbelievably lovable, Rafael. Sure, you’re a miserable fuck sometimes, but that’s another punishment you’ve forced on yourself. You think you deserve it. That’s what this is.”
Rafael’s eyes narrowed at me. His jaw clenched, and I knew what was coming. It was going to be another bullet—another way to push me away. It would hurt, but I could take it, because I wasn’t letting go without a fight.
“Cody, you don’t know shit about me. I fucked you, okay? I took your virginity, and you’re sentimental about it. That’s why you think you know me, but I assure you, you don’t.”
“I know I’m not wrong,” I replied, shaking my head.
“Well, I know you are.” Rafael jumped up and closed the distance between us, wielding a finger in my face. “Cody, this is sex. I fucked you. I used your ass because it was fun. I could never be something with you because you’re Hank and Jill’s golden boy. Fucking you was a game. I wanted to see if I could do it, and I did. More than that! I made you fall in love with me. I succeeded in breaking you in every possible way I set out to, so my job here is done. I can go back to my life and leave you and your pathetic—”
My fist connected with his jaw hard and fast. He fell back and landed on my desk, blood dripping from the cut on his lip. “Don’t you ever say that to me again. I’m not pathetic, and you know it. You’re mad because you’re a fucking coward, Rafael. Don’t call people hurtful names. You’re better than that.”
The growl that left this mouth filled the room as he lunged at me, throwing my body against the bedroom door. “No, I’m not,” he screamed.
His hands were on my throat, and mine were on his arms. I was embracing him as he was choking me. Truly choking me, but I knew I was breaking through. I was cracking his shell. He was fighting it, but I wasn’t going to relent. “You are,” I spat out through gasping breaths. “I know it. Deep down, you do too.”
“NO!” He punched me in the gut. I keeled over, and he tossed me to the ground and exited my room. I managed to get up, chasing him down the stairs and grabbing him. “You know it’s true!”
He forced me into a headlock. I released quick jabs to his sides as we faltered on the midway point of the staircase, falling down the rest of the stairs. We landed on the floor in a heap.
Rafael gripped my shirt, pulling me closer so that he was screaming in my face. “You don’t know anything, Cody. This is for your own good.”
I heard a scream and looked to see Mom and Sue running from the kitchen to stop us. I didn’t want them to. We needed to do this. We needed to fight it out. I would lose him if we didn’t. I needed to knock the shit out of him so I could replace it with some fucking sense.
My knee connected with his nuts, and I flipped us over so I was on top.
I held up my hand to Mom and Sue and bellowed, “Don’t! Don’t come closer.”
Rafael used the opportunity to punch me in the face, throwing me off him. He got up to walk away, but I ran and tackled him into the wall. Mom’s wall curio, filled with her precious moments’ figurines, fell onto us, breaking apart and releasing the sad little kids. They shattered as they fell to the floor.
“No!” She cried out.
“Where the hell is Hank?” Sue hollered.
Mom ran out of the room, and Rafael’s fist slammed into my face again, but I didn’t let go of his shirt. Together, we fell onto Mom’s coffee table. The legs broke from under us, and we rolled onto the ground: fists flying, feet kicking, teeth gnashing.
“What on Earth?” Hank ran over and pulled Rafael off me, and Mom ran at me with a pitcher of cold water and dumped it on my head.
Sue straddled me and pressed her hands on me, holding me down.
Rafael screamed, “You don’t know me, Cody! I’ll let go! I’ll let go!”
Hank managed to wrap his arms around Rafael and dragged him to the door leading to the cellar. I looked up at Sue’s terrified face. Mom soon appeared beside hers and asked, “What happened, Cody?”
I’m trying to get him back, Mom. In the only fucked up way I know how.
Chapter 31
Rafael
I was in the garage applying ice to basically my entire body. Hank stood across from me, clutching a beer and shaking his head. “What happened, Rafael? I thought you two were getting along, and then that? You two looked like you were going to kill each other.”
There was a time when I could have killed Cody, but that’s not what I was trying to do during our fight. I wanted to push him away. If I hit hard enough, I thought he’d see what a monster I was and back down. Instead, he hit me back harder. He matched me punch for punch. Cody wasn’t backing down. God, I hated how I loved it. That little brat knew what he was doing.
Each hit that connected with Cody’s face made me want to stop the fight and kiss the bruise.
I wanted to wrap it up, apply ice, and make it better. That boy had sunk so deep within me that each time my hand touched him, I wanted to cut off one of my fingers as punishment for hurting his beautiful face.
My jaw throbbed as I applied ice to it. I couldn’t help but hope that Cody was okay. I didn’t want him to be hurt. I knew what a hypocrite I was, because I’d done nothing but hurt Cody since I arrived, but I was leaving to stop that. He didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve him.
