He reached to his guitar, which I’d noticed was a habit.
Even when we were talking, he’d grab it and strum, no tune, just strumming a chord here, several of them there.It was like I thought when I first saw him with that guitar.It was an extension of him.
But I also thought it was a support, a balm.It was like his version of meditation.
And of course, Hutch’s version of meditation was cooler than anything.
Though now, I needed his attention.
Now, I needed him fully with me as I did this thing.
He had his fingers around the neck of the guitar.
Now or never, Mabel!My mind screamed.
“I’m falling in love with you,” I blurted.
He stilled.
Then slowly, so agonizingly slowly, he turned his head to me.
Oh God.Oh God.Oh God.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.“I caught the feels.Full disclosure, I always had them.”I shook my head vehemently.“But I didn’t lie to you.I swear.I didn’t realize it.Or I was burying it.Definitely, I was scared of it.But now, it’s getting out of control.And we have a deal.So I’m honoring our deal.I don’t want to be friends.”I flipped a hand out nervously.“I mean, I do.Obviously.Want to be friends, that is.Just not friends with benefits.Though, I also want those benefits.”
I stopped babbling as he rose from his chair.
I went back to it when he turned fully to me.
“Just that, I don’t want that to be all.I want you.As a boyfriend.Maybe a husband.And a father to my kids.Later, of course.Because I want kids.But mostly…I…”
I was trailing off because he was coming my way.
“…don’t want to lose you,” I finished on a whisper.
And he was at me.
Then I was up with his hands on my ass.
I rounded his hips with my legs, caught his jaw in my fingers, and still whispering, but this time it was trembling, I said, “Hutch.”
He was walking.
He said nothing.
And then I was down on his bed with him on top of me, and he was kissing me.
With all I was worth, I kissed him back.
There wasn’t going to be any lingering over each other tonight either.
Or not this round.
I had my answer (I thought), and I was jubilant.
I tore at his clothes.
He tore at mine.
