His mother never hid what she was.
He was a loner, but it went without saying, since he was almost engaged once and definitely engaged another time, he wanted a wife and a family.
He’d convinced himself that wasn’t meant to be.
Now, there was Mabel, and he already knew this was all going to be a problem.What he didn’t know was that problem was going to be compounded exponentially.
She could be real.
Or she could be an illusion.
He knew one thing: if she was an illusion, he’d break in a way that couldn’t be fixed.
But now, after tonight, he had an even bigger worry.
Because now, he knew, if he lost her, for all intents and purposes…
Just like his dad…
His life would be over.
TWENTY-NINE
Don’t Fail Me Now
Mabel
On Monday, Hutch parked his truck behind my store.
We got out, me with Moxie in my arms, him going to the back cab to let Tonks out and grab the box of bags we picked up from my workshop yesterday.
We ran this errand, incidentally, while also running the errand of me packing nearly all my winter clothes, and Hutch packing all my perishable food.
Because, yeah…
On Sunday, at his brook-no-argument demand, I moved in with my FWB.
In other words, at Hutch’s decree, until Lars Enstrom and his gang of outlaws were caught, I was staying with him.
Him driving me around and crowding me, he assured me, will only, “Last awhile, babe.You gotta give me that until I’m less tweaked.”
And I could give him that, because I’d sat in his chair in his living room, watching him with a rifle waiting for a threat to descend, so I’d seen firsthand just how tweaked he was.
But the line was drawn about the living arrangements, and the way he communicated it, I didn’t argue.
This was only partially because, obvs, I too was tweaked.
It was mostly because he didn’t hide he needed it, and I’d long since passed the place where, if I had it to give, I’d give Hutch everything he needed.
See how fucked up this was?
Calamitously fucked up.
And I couldn’t even blame those folks at The Lion and The Lamb.
It was me who’d had the idea of what he and I should be.
This was all on me.
