Or second, tell him I cared for him a lot more than just a friend, in fact, I was falling in love with him (oh yeah, I was there, burying your head in the sand only lasts for so long before you realize you can’t breathe), and I wanted to know if he was willing to explore that with me.
I didn’t want the first.
I was desperate for the other.
I knew he’d give me the first.
I didn’t know about the other.
And that was what was what I knew could turn out to be the slow death of me.
I could survive anything.
Except losing Hutch.
One could say, the man had been burned.It wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest that he didn’t want to go there.
I knew he cared about me too.
A lot.
But he’d fallen in love with two women, only to give his heart, and have them shit all over it.Eventually finding a fuck buddy for sex and company, only for her to shit all over him in totality.
Why would he assume I’d be different?
I just got burned by Bryce and decided to give up on the whole romance thing.
Sure, that was intense.
But luckily, I hadn’t gone wedding dress shopping or put any deposits down anywhere.
And although Bryce and I had mutual friendsnow, they were people I introduced to him.And I sensed they put up with him so they could keep an eye on him and make sure he didn’t screw with me (or, Olivia did that, but she also did it because she was nosy).
Or they put up with him because he was messy, and messy was always amusing if that mess wasn’t yours or you weren’t in it.
I didn’t lose friends or people I thought would be my family for the rest of their lives.
Hutch’s songs now made complete sense.
Sometimes, it was best just to give up hope and get on with it.
How was I going to convince him to hope again and try to get on with it with me?
And if he didn’t, how was I going to live without having all of Hutch?
On this thought, I nearly spilled my tea down myself because Tonks jumped up and started viciously barking.
Moxie went flying.
Tonks raced to the window by the fireplace.
It was the one that faced the south of the property.
The one beyond which was The Lion and The Lamb.
I locked my doors as a matter of course, as everyone should, city or not, but my mind flew to them as I started to reach toward my phone.
And that was when I heard it over Tonks’s barking.
