And then there was Drew Moreau, the man Quentin had had a secret relationship with over a year ago. Drew had publicly come out after Quentin had ended their “relationship,” though Drew had wanted to make things public with Quentin. Quentin had been too afraid, and that had caused him to ruin things with Drew. Now Drew was happily partnered with a very handsome and successful young man, and Quentin sometimes grieved what he had lost there. He didn’t hold it against Drew, and he wasn’t jealous of Drew’s partner, but he regretted the fact that he hadn’t been as brave as Drew. What had he lost out on because he hadn’t been brave?
He knew that bravery could still come.
On the surface, what he had with Joel didn’t look all that different from what he and Drew had been doing. Their relationship was mostly physical, and they had been clear that there were no expectations beyond that. But by now, it had been going on for several months, and Quentin wasn’t blind. He might be a bit emotionally repressed, but he knew when he was developing feelings for someone. And he was developing feelings for Joel. He wanted more, even if he didn’t think he couldhavemore.
Maybe he could.
Maybe the world was changing, and he was allowed to choose his own happiness.
One of Boston’s first games in the Playoffs was against the Chicago Architects. They flew to Chicago the afternoon before the game. Quentin always liked playing in Chicago. It was a beautiful city, and it was so different from Boston. The Architects were a good team. They played a good, respectful game of hockey, and there were some friendships between the Minutemen and the Architects.
Quentin had an idea while he sat at the bar in the hotel where he was staying. He was drinking black coffee and reading a book. He took his phone out, searched for a number he hadn’t used in months, and sent a short text:
Hey, I know this might be coming out of the blue, but would you like to grab a drink tonight? I know it’s last-minute, but I could use some advice about some personal stuff, and you were the best person I could think of to ask. I know it might be unfair of me to ask this, but I trust you. If you don’t want to, I completely understand. I hope you’re doing well.
Drew Moreau texted him back ten minutes later, asking where Quentin would like to meet, and Quentin gave him the name of a little bar down the street from his hotel.
He met Drew there an hour later. It was late, and it was dark out. Quentin was sitting at a booth, sipping another cup of coffee, when Drew walked in. There had been a time when seeing Drew would cause Quentin’s stomach to jump. They’d had an intense physical relationship, and Quentin knew he’d hurt Drew badly when he ended things. That had been almost two years ago, and Quentin had grown since then, and Drew had found happiness. They were different men, and were meeting under very different circumstances.
Drew gave Quentin a hug. “It’s good to see you,” he said, and it sounded like he meant it. “I was hoping we could catch up while you’re here. You know, before we destroy you in the game tomorrow.”
They sat, and Quentin grinned at his ex. “You talk a big game for someone who’s practically geriatric. How are your joints holding up?”
“Better than yours, I’m sure,” Drew said. A waiter came by, and Drew ordered a club soda. “So, update me on life.”
They chatted for a bit. Quentin told him about the team and how things were going. He avoided any talk about Joel, or about theFCLincident, though Drew made a brief joke about it. He asked Drew about his life, and Drew told him how happy he was in Chicago. He was thinking of retiring after this season, or maybe next, and focusing on his foundation work, or maybe transitioning into coaching. He was very happy with his partner, Gabriel. They lived together, and Drew admitted that they were talking about taking the next step.
“Marriage?” Quentin asked, surprised.
“Like you said, I’m not exactly a child bride. Gabriel is young, but he wants to be married. I do, too.”
Quentin smiled. “It makes me happy to hear that, Drew. It really does. I’m glad you found happiness and someone who is able to love you openly.”
Drew was silent for a moment. “What about you, Quentin? Have you found anyone?”
Quentin took a deep breath. “That’s kind of why I’m here. I think I have found someone. There’s someone I really like. He’s…he’s wonderful. He’s everything I didn’t know I wanted, and I haven’t told him that. I’m scared of a relationship, because it would mean a big change in my life. Coming out scares me, because things will be different. I know that change is necessary, but there are so many unknowns here.”
Drew didn’t say anything at first, but nodded thoughtfully. “Thank you for trusting me. This guy, is he out?”
“No.”
“Does he intend to come out?”
“We haven’t talked about it.”
“Have youthoughtabout talking about it?”
“I’m scared to,” Quentin admitted. “When we started our…arrangement…we agreed that there were no strings attached and no expectations. But I think I’ve caught feelings, and I don’t know about him.”
“How long has it been going on?”
“A few months.”
Drew shrugged. “It’s not unreasonable to want to take things to the next step then. I knew for sure about wanting to date Gabriel after that time. It was enough to inspire me to come out. To be fair, he was already out.”
Quentin played with his coffee cup. “I don’t know if the guy I’m interested in is in a position to come out, either.”
If Drew suspected who Quentin was talking about, he didn’t show it. He just nodded. “I think you need to decide what you want for yourself. What is right for you? I ultimately made the decision to come outfor myself. Gabriel was part of it, but he wasn’t the main reason. I was tired of hiding and wanted to live my truth openly. Do you want that?”
