“Dad, what happened here?” Jude spread his arms wide. “How can I help?”
“We believe it was an attack by the vampires, although we aren’t sure how they did it yet. We have troops scanning the area, looking for who may have planted the bomb.” Arthur ran his fingers over his beard. “It happened shortly after you left, so our priority was caring for those that were still alive as well as fixing what we could so the Dogs couldn’t get inside.”
“They won’t be an issue,” Jude confidently smiled. “Well, at least most of them.”
Arthur’s eyes lit up, a grin stretching his lips as he considered the comment. “We must go to the council and hear of your findings immediately.”
He began ushering us forward, but my feet felt rooted to the spot. I couldn’t go and explain what we found out. Not yet. I still hadn’t come to terms with all of this information myself. Plus, I was scared if Arthur found out, he and the other humans might turn on me. They could throw me back in jail or worse—decide I was no longer worth protecting as their captor.
Jude’s grip on my shoulder tightened, and he shook his head. “Can we go to our quarters for the night?”
“I really feel the council should hear?—”
“No.” Jude’s voice turned stern. “We need rest. Let’s make sure everyone in Silvertown is safe. We have time to meet with the council.”
There was a moment of silence before Arthur’s upper lip stiffened. “Very well.”
Jude’s gorgeous eyes looked into mine, and he gestured ahead. We crept past Arthur and his army, their gazes burning into our backs, and walked down the hallway toward our sleeping chambers.
“Thank you,” I said quietly.
“Don’t thank me.” Jude shook his head before stopping in front of my room. “Want me to join you?”
“Maybe later, I need some time alone.” In truth, I craved Jude. More than sleep. More than a shower. I wanted to feel him once again. But the conflicted feelings and betrayal I festered in my core took over.
“I’m gonna go help those who are displaced from the bomb.” He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, his brow furrowed with worry. “You sure you’re okay?”
A heaviness settled in my head, blurring my vision, as a lump formed in my throat. Without allowing Jude to see my emotions, I opened the metal door to my small living quarters and closed it silently behind me. My body slammed against the door, andmy legs turned to jelly. No more being strong. No more worrying about what Jude may think of me.
I crawled over to the bed on the far wall and threw myself on top. Silent tears streamed down my cheeks, each one hot and heavy, as my fingers fumbled blindly across the rumpled bed sheets in search of the pillows. I planted my face between two pillows, burying myself in their soft, downy fluff. In response, I let out a guttural scream, and my body began to convulse as I was finally ready to acknowledge my feelings.
I became lost and swallowed by the night. Alone.
I carry on,I carry on.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ilay in my tear-soaked bed with my knees tucked to my chest, wondering if I had another ounce of water in my body. It’d been years since I’d cried so uncontrollably. It was one of those scream into a pillow, rip your heart out, and try to catch your breath before you pass out kind of cries. The kind when you’rereallyhurt.
There was so much I wasn’t able to fully express to Jude. My dad was the catalyst for the end of the world. He made several copies of me, hoping to find one whose blood would serve his purpose. Were all the failed experiments considered my brothers? Through the years, this man’s power remained absolute, using his pack of Dogs to intimidate both humans and vampires, a constant threat fostering an atmosphere of fear and division. He did all of this. And he used me to do it. To him, I was nothing more than a tool for power.
While he took away my own.
My body felt like a shell of itself. Completely hollow. My entire being was pouring out from my eyes and soaking into the rough sheets beneath me. My heaving sobs subsided, leaving me breathless and weighed down by exhaustion. I didn’t want tocontinue…both on this journey and in life. I guess that’s what happens when someone you love dies in your mind.
I’d been lost and consumed in my thoughts for what seemed like hours, slowly letting my thoughts eat away at my sanity. The sudden pressure of a strong arm encircled me, their body a comforting weight against mine. The scent of dirt and campfire engulfed my nostrils. Jude. When did he get here? How didn’t I hear him enter?
He nuzzled his head into my neck, lightly kissing my shoulder. “I’m not here to make a move.” His voice was soft and caring. “I just don’t want you to feel alone.”
I let him hold me. I needed it.
From the moment I was kidnapped by the humans, I knew Jude was my safety. I may have hated him and didn’t fully trust him at the time, but I knew he would protect me. And he continued to do it. This was different for me. I wasn’t used to someone caring for my feelings and showing physical emotion. I knew Gabe loved me, but it was always hard for me to get him to show affection. He had the capability, but it didn’t come as easily as it did for Jude.
My body relaxed, and I eased into him; it was like our souls were merging. His excitement pressed against my back, his breath warm on my neck. I knew even though he was excited, he’d never act upon his desires. For that, it made me want him more.
I flipped around and burrowed my face into his warm, pillowy chest, my arms holding him tight. Venturing a glance at him, I saw the ghost of a smile on his lips as he lifted his hand, his touch gentle as he tucked my wild hair behind my ear. Heat rushed to my cheeks, turning them pink as I rubbed his back, feeling the warmth of his skin through my palm.
I lifted my head and felt the soft, warm press of two plump lips against mine. The kiss was tender but full of passion. Whitehot lust radiated off each of our bodies, tugging at our clothes as if they were expected to melt off.
