The cowl neck of her jumper means Kim’s fingers can touch skin, push under the wool to finger her bra strap, then back again, lower, in graceful arcs, like a leaf drifting to the ground.
Danika’s fingers bite into her palms. But, she realises, she doesn’t have to remain passive. With Kim’s consent, she, too, can explore and learn her body, can experiment to find out what Kim likes.
She places her palms on Kim’s thighs, feeling the rough weave of her pants. She slides her hands up, fingers on the middle of Kim’s thighs, thumbs on the inside. Up, up, in a meandering caress. Just when her thumbs meet the baggy crotch of the pants, she retreats, back down to Kim’s knees, before repeating the movement.
The baggy pants mean Danika’s thumbs are still centimetres from the juncture of Kim’s legs. She wonders about touching there, but that surely means skipping several steps in this glorious buildup.
Kim’s touch swoops lower, until she can trace the top of Danika’s bra.
Danika’s body is one long hum of pleasure. They’re still only sitting on the couch, both fully dressed, but Danika is molten, already flying high, burning for Kim’s touch.
And then Kim removes her fingers, sits back, puts space between them.
What happened? What did I do? Or not do?The heat of embarrassment surges up Danika’s neck until she’s sure her cheeks are fiery red. “I’m sorry. I’m not sure what I did wrong.”
Kim swallows hard and folds her hands in her lap. She takes a deep breath, straightens her pants that are rucked from Danika’s fingers. “You did nothing wrong and everything right. But it’s time for a reality check. A moment to stop, to make sure this is what we both want.”
Oh.She stares at Kim. “I want nothing more than to…” What is the term here? Go to bed with? Make love to? Sleep with? Have sex with?
Kim tilts her head. “There are no wrong words here. You can use whatever you’re comfortable with.”
Danika raises her chin. “Then I want nothing more than to make love with you.”
Kim’s smile spreads until her eyes crinkle. “I love that you said ‘make love with’. Not ‘make love to’. Because that’s what we’ll do. We’ll make love together.”
Danika’s tongue feels thick in her mouth. “I’m not assuming it’s love. I’m not reading too much into this. We’re?—”
“Sssh,” Kim says. “We don’t have to label this, dissect it. It’s us doing what we want to do. And you don’t have to label yourself either.”
She hadn’t even considered that. As Kim says, it isn’t important. What is important is them, in the here and now, alone in Kim’s flat. A king bed in the next room. “What happens now?”
“Whatever you want. Whatever you do when you want to sleep with someone. Or if you want to break old patterns, now’s the time.”
Danika’s lips twitch. “Well, I’m already busting out of my pattern by being here with a woman.”
Kim takes her hands, squeezes them. “That’s not such a difference. I’m sure you already know how to make love to yourself. What you like. I’m not saying it’s the same, but?—”
“I don’t know what to do.” The words burst out, and Danika swallows hard. “I don’t know what you want. What you expect.”
Kim grips her hands tighter, lifting them up, then resting them down on Danika’s knees. “I’m just a person, Danika, wanting to make love with another person. I don’texpectanything. We’ll figure this out together.”
The nerves twining in Danika’s chest loosen their grip somewhat. They will figure it out, just as she’s always done whenever she’s slept with someone new. Although that was so many years ago…
She takes a deep breath and leans forward and kisses Kim. She means it as a gentle kiss, an exploratory one, although they’ve already gone past that point. But this is starting withintent, with what she hopes will be an end destination that won’t leave her pushing down her frustration and then finishing herself with her fingers. Heterosexual sex was pleasant, sometimes amazing. Occasionally, it was the moon and stars and lightheaded giddiness and exhilaration, her body thrumming with satisfaction. She hopes for the moon and stars with Kim.
Kim returns the kiss. Her hands still grip Danika’s, and her lips move on Danika’s own. The kiss deepens slowly; like wading into a pool of water, it creeps up on Danika, until she’s engulfed by the feelings it brings.
Then Kim breaks away, and her lips map a path down Danika’s neck, pushing aside the soft wool, before Kim bites gently at the junction of neck and shoulder.
Danika jerks in surprise, and an arrow of lust shoots down her body. Kim does it again, her teeth scraping over Danika’s skin.
What will that feel like on my breasts?
“Do you like that?”
She nods. “Can we go into the bedroom?” She feels bold saying the words. She’s always been a follower in sexual things, letting her partner take the lead. But with Kim, she thinks they will be equals. And that starts now.
Kim nods and stands, holding out her hand.
