Maybe she’s back to her normal weight now. Maybe, if Kim saw her, Danika’s face would light up, and she’d smile and nudge Kim companionably with an elbow. “Missed you,” she might say.
Dream on.
If Danika thinks of Kim at all, it’s most likely with relief that Kim is out of her life.
Kim closes her mouth with a snap and looks around to check no one has been watching her stare into space. At least she wasn’t drooling. Surreptitiously, she wipes her chin with her fingers. No drool. She swallows. Here she is, thinking about dating, and yet the woman in her head is Danika.
Who doesn’t talk with her.
Who she’d told to stay away because of Bella.
Who isstraight.
So not going to happen.
Chapter Fifteen
Danika
“I want to send Bella a Christmas present.” Cami lolls against the kitchen bench. Her chin juts in the same way that Chris’s used to do when he wanted something he thought would be refused. “She’s my sister.”
Danika considers. In the six months since Kim and Bella dropped out of their lives, Cami has seldom mentioned them.
Oh, at first, she was heartbroken. She wrote out a plan in red marker, a list of all the things she could do to get Bella to be her sister. It started with calling her to play soccer and ended with sleeping on the front step of her apartment so that Bella would trip over her in the morning.
That last one was definitely creepy and stalker-ish, even if the stalker was an eight-year-old girl who just wanted to see her sister.
Then the heartbreak morphed into anger. Surly, arms-folded, refusing-to-talk anger, and no matter what Danika did, it was the wrong thing. Even Cami’s favourite pizza became something she had always hated. Cami’s teacher summoned Danika to the school, as Cami was being disruptive in class. She was seeing the therapist again, but the only things that seemed to give her pleasure were soccer and spending time with Sylvie.
Danika had tried to talk to her about it. “I know you’re sad that Bella won’t see you, sweetie. I miss her too. But we have to give her time.”
Cami had responded with a scowl. “I hate Bella, and I hate Kim, and I don’t care if I never see them again.”
Danika knew that wasn’t true, but she was at a loss how to respond.
She misses Bella too, and she misses Kim even more. Their growing closeness, blown apart by the secret that had to come out. Detonated by Chris from beyond the grave.Fucking Chris. The bile at the thought of his name rises more and more often now.
Danika is angry at Kim, too, although rationally she realises it’s misplaced. Kim is protecting her daughter, as she should. Danika can’t override that.
She never got to find out how the four of them could have grown together. What she and Kim could have been. That one brings her to a shuddering halt, hollowness blooming in her chest. The feeling she’s lost something precious.
Cami’s anger gradually abated, and Bella started creeping back into conversations. At first, it was that Sylvie missed Bella. Then she wondered what soccer team Bella now played for.
And now this.
“I missed her birthday,” Cami continues. “It was 4 December.”
With a start, Danika remembers that. Did Bella have a party? Probably. It was what nine-year-olds did. Balloons, too much sugar, presents, lots of games and giggling.
“What would you get her if you could?” Danika says. Not a yes, not a no. Just a request for more information, as if Cami had filed a building plan with the council.
“I’ll write to the Matildas,” Cami says, “and tell them my sister won’t talk to me and ask them to send me something from the team to give to Bella.”
Danika smothers a smile. That would be Cami’s dream gift. Even if the Australian women’s soccer team sends something, there’s every chance it won’t make it to Bella. “You’ve probably left it a bit late. The mail is slow this close to Christmas.”
“But can I try?” Cami’s eyes are wide, hopeful, and she twists her hands together in front of her. “Pretty please?”
“Sure. Why don’t we look to see if there’s an email address to write to? But don’t get your hopes up. The Matildas must get a lot of requests like this.”
