Returning to her poky apartmenthadn’t helped. Allie had turned on the light and been struck by its dinginess. The low ceilings pressed in on her, and the air had a stale, musty smell. She’d climbed into bed, checked her phone for a final time, then turned it off.
The next morning, she dragged herself out bed to shower and wash her hair and then picked up some pastries from the local coffee shop. But there was nothing she could do about her emotions. Her mind swirled in a grey mist; her heart hung as a deadweight in her chest.
She used her key to let herself into Sophie’s place. “Hi,” she called.
A head popped out Sophie’s bedroom. “Hi, Allie.” Bree entered the hallway. “It’s been a while.”
Of course. Sophie had said Bree was staying for a couple of weeks. She stretched her mouth into the semblance of a smile. “It has. How have you been?”
“I’m doing better now. Things weren’t good for a while.” She pushed her hair from her black-skinned face. “Maybe we can talk later? Right now, Soph is dying to see you. Now you’re here, I’ll go and sort out breakfast. You’re probably starving—I bet there was hardly anything in your apartment.”
“You’re right.” She held out the bag of pastries. “My contribution.”
Bree peeped into the bag. “Ooh, you’ve been to The Pink Bean. Fantastic. Thanks.” She carried on down the hallway to the kitchen.
Allie took a deep breath and went into Sophie’s room. Time to face the music.
Sophie was in bed, propped up on pillows, her injured leg resting on top of the covers. Her face had gained some colour since Allie had last seen her, and the shadow of pain around her eyes seemed less.
“Allie! Oh my God, it feels like forever. Give me a proper hug.” Sophie held out her arms, and Allie bent to hug her around the shoulders. Sophie’s hair smelled fresh, floral, as it always used to before the accident, and she clung tightly for a few long moments before releasing her. “Bree’s giving us some time alone, so I want to hear everything: the festival, the people, how it all ended up. And I particularly want to hear about you and Tarryn. I saw you on the news, and, of course, so did a lot of my friends. They’ve been calling, asking how come I was up in Quandong, because, of course, the news gave my name, not yours.”
Allie pulled the bedside chair around so she could face Sophie. “I’ve a lot to tell you. Not all is good.” She pressed her lips together but couldn’t entirely stop their tremble. “I hope you’re still talking to me when I’ve finished.”
Sophie reached for Allie’s hand and linked their fingers together. “You’re my sister. My shared heart. Nothing you tell me could change my love for you.Nothing. And nothing can be so bad we can’t face it together.”
Allie dropped her head, unable to look Sophie in the face. She blinked fiercely, willing the tears not to fall, but one tracked its way down her nose to drop on their joined hands. “I hope you still think that when I’ve finished talking.”
“Talk. I love you.”
Allie heaved a deep breath and filled her in on the festival and the fake wedding. She looked up at Sophie, blurry through her tears. “I told her who I was, that I was pretending to be you so as to save your business. And I told her I’d always thought I was straight.” She stared back down at her hand again, linked with Sophie’s. “I admitted I was wrong.”
“What happened?”
“She was furious. Angry we’d duped Quandong—they’d paid for an experienced event planner—they paid foryou. And they got me, who was winging it more than a fried chicken shop. But even more, she accused me of faking being gay. And she was right.”
“Not entirely. You thought you were straight; you realised you weren’t. She can’t blame you for that.”
“But still. I was pretending to be you, talking as if I was you. As if I were a lesbian. Gay for pay, she called it.”
“You care for her,” Sophie said softly. “I can see it in your face.”
“I do.” Those words again. They seemed to be coming up in her life a lot.
“And it’s not just because she’s a woman? A new and exciting experience?”
“No!” The knot of unhappiness that was her heart twisted tighter. If only that was all it had been. If it had been novelty, a simple one-night stand, she wouldn’t feel like this now. Like she was covered in a grey net of misery.
Sophie nodded slowly. “I’m so sorry, Allie. I wish I’d never sent you there in my place.”
Allie shook her head. “Then I wouldn’t have discovered this about myself. I wouldn’t have—”Wouldn’t have met Tarryn.And that would have been worse. She closed her eyes, and Tarryn’s face flashed into her mind. Not as she last saw it, twisted with hurt and anger, but open and alight with pleasure in her bed. The softness of her skin, the steel of her convictions. Her loyalty to Quandong and the people she cared about. “She’s the whole package, Sophie. For me, at least.”
“And there’s no way back to her?”
“I can’t see one. I just have to move on. Rebuild my life in Sydney. Maybe I’ll sign up on a dating app.”
“To match with men?”
“Men, women, nonbinary. At least being in Quandong opened me to that.” Allie hesitated. “There’s more. Tarryn said she’d tell Phyll about our deception.”
