For a moment, she thought about going onto the balcony and calling Sophie, asking her advice. But she already knew what Sophie would say. She’d tell Allie to do what she needed for her own sake, that she’d already done so much to help Sophie’s business and should put herself first.
But Sophie was the most important person in her life. How could she do that to her? She wouldn’t add to her current difficulties, and for what? For maybe a short-lived long-distance relationship with someone she liked? There were plenty of women who dated women in Sydney. Just because Tarryn was her first, didn’t mean she’d be her only. She just had to return to Sydney, sign up for a dating app, and see what happened.
She turned over in bed and closed her eyes again. That was the answer. There was nothing else she could do.
Chapter 24
“What time are you leaving?”Tarryn asked as they sat with mugs of coffee on the balcony. “Not that I’m pushing you away. Anything but. I’m just wondering how long we’ve got.” She winked.
Allie clutched her mug harder, enough that the heat of it was uncomfortable on her palms. “Kirra asked if I could be gone by noon so she’s time to turn the room around for her next guest. If I head away then, I can get home in one day.” She twisted the mug in her hands. “And I should.”
Tarryn nodded. “If you want, you can stay with me tonight. Leave early in the morning.”
Allie hesitated, the words “yes, please” on her tongue. But she just couldn’t, not without explaining who she was. She’d finally got to sleep last night in the early hours, and her mind was dusty with tiredness. She stared at Tarryn, her mind buzzing.
There was no way she could walk away without sharing the truth. She’d always been a straightforward, truthful person. She couldn’t change now, even if it angered Tarryn, even—Allie swallowed hard—if it led to repercussions for Sophie. She would have to understand.
“I’d like that.” She set down her mug and reached for Tarryn’s hand, grasping it like a lifeline. She licked her dry lips. “But I need to tell you something first.”
Tarryn tilted her head, her dark eyes soft and warm. “That sounds ominous. Is this what you wanted to say the other night?”
Allie nodded.
“Are you going to elope with Kirra? Are you moving to Nepal to lead Everest base camp treks?”
“Neither of those. Please listen to all I need to tell you before you say anything.” She swallowed the lump in her throat along with the thought she was about to destroy everything. “You know I have a sister. What you don’t know is that we’re twins. Our names are Allison and Sophie.” She took a deep breath. “But I’m Allie, short for Allison, and my sister is Sophie. She’s the event planner, the person Quandong hired to organise the festival. Sophie was severely injured in a car accident, and she’s still struggling. She begged me to come up here and take her place.”
Tarryn’s forehead wrinkled, and her hand was slack in Allie’s grasp. “Why the pretence? Why didn’t you just tell us who you are? Sophie was unable to be here, so she sent her replacement.”
“It’s not that simple.” The beginnings of a headache beat at the base of Allie’s skull. “Sophie is a one-person business, and her contract with Quandong stated she had to be the person to come here. She asked me to come because if she was forced to pull out of the contract, not only would she be leaving Quandong in the lurch but her business would go under. It’s a new business, and she can’t work at the moment. She’d have lost her business, and likely her home.”
She dared a look at Tarryn. She didn’t seem horrified; her flickering expressions hinted at confusion more than anything else. Allie sucked a shallow breath. Maybe it would be all right. But she still had to admit to the big thing.
“You’ve seen how we are here,” Tarryn said. “If Sophie had explained, said she was sending her assistant in her place, in the circumstances, we would almost certainly have agreed.”
The headache pounded harder. “She was too afraid to take that risk. The stakes were too high. Also, I’m not her assistant. I’m an accountant, not an event planner. Well, I’m an unemployed accountant at the moment, and that’s why I was able to step in.”
“Still. You did well. I’ve talked with Phyll and others—they’re all very happy with how you handled things.”
“Now they are. Would they have taken a chance before?”
“I don’t know,” Tarryn admitted. She tugged her hand from Allie’s grasp and cupped her mug. “It’s not right, Allison. You did a great job, but we were paying for an experienced person.”
“Sophie took all my calls and gave advice. She directly worked on everything else—except she wasn’t here in person.”
“Still. Imagine if you call an ambulance and the person who attends isn’t a paramedic but it’s okay, their sister is and she’s on the phone. It’s not the same, of course, but things can go wrong quickly—”
“But they didn’t. Issues that came up—like the portaloos—were sorted.”
“They were,” Tarryn admitted. She folded her arms. “But the fact remains we were paying for an experienced person and got you. And you did a great job, but you—Sophie—should have levelled with us in the start.”
“I know that—now,” she whispered. “I didn’t do it to deceive Quandong—or you. I did it because I love my sister, and she’s in so much pain and struggling to even walk. And this was something I could do to make her situation a little better.” Allie stared at her hand, resting on the table between them. It was all going west. Tarryn’s expression was closed, her voice clipped.Oh, Sophie, I’m so sorry. But she had to go on. There was probably no more damage she could do, and she needed to finish. “There’s more.”
“More?” Tarryn huffed a laugh. “I suppose you’re married with a couple of kids.”
“No! I wouldn’t cheat on anyone. But another reason why I couldn’t say who I was is because Sophie said one reason she was hired was because she was a lesbian. That’s true. She is.” How hard was it to say the next words. “But I’m not. I identified as straight. Now I know I’m not, and I’m very happy accepting that. But Sophie thought Quandong wouldn’t allow her straight twin sister in her place instead of someone who’s part of the community. I’ve always been around queer people, I spend a lot of time in queer spaces, but as an ally, not…” She couldn’t continue. The blank expression on Tarryn’s face surely reflected her anger.
“So you’re gay for pay.” Her words were cold. “And you led all of us on, talking about your girlfriends, identifying as something you’re not. And me…what was I? Some sort of no-strings experimental sex? You’d just had an immersion course in being gay, and now you wanted to try sapphic sex for yourself? Well, fuck you, Allison, I won’t be used like that.”
