Get out.
My eyes begin to focus, the horror registering so fast as the truck dives nose-first into the blackened river. Icy water laps at my legs, my whole body already shivering from the ache blending with a substantial dose of panic. Without wasting another precious second, my hand flies to my seat belt. My body is flung forward over the steering wheel, my hand struggling to reach it, but I manage to unclasp myself.
Waves crash against my driver’s side window, and the water’s surface splatters with the downpour of rain. The water in the cab is up to my waist now, and from what I know, the only way to get out of this is to crawl out the windows.
Reaching for the old crank on my door—because of course, my truck is a dinosaur—I wind it, the window coming down only slightly. Each crank gets more challenging as my strength dwindles and my head spins. I swallow the acid creeping upmy throat when it no longer budges, and I’m left with an open window with two inches of space.
In a sinking car.
Tears cascade down my cheeks, my hands violently shaking and cold to the point where the numbness gradually overtakes all my limbs. Managing to glance into my back seat shadowed by the inky darkness of the stormy night, the tiny flicker of hope I have that I can find something to break the window disappears.
I’m cold.
My head is throbbing.
My limbs are aching.
My heart fucking hurts, and as I watch the last wave crash against the window and turn into nothing but a pitch-black void dragging me under, my brain tells me I’m going to die.
Some people say regrets are all you think about when death comes calling. I always hoped that wouldn’t be the case, but for me, it’s true.
Images of my parents with their warm smiles cross my vision. I know they love me. I shouldn’t have cared that I was the one who always initiated the conversation. I should have called them. Reached out more. Because even if they don’t reach out first, I still want to hear their voices.
God. Cameron, Brennan, Tristan, and Elena. People always leave them, and now I’m just another name on that list.
I needed a breather—some space to be alone after pouring my heart out to Colten and receiving deafening silence in return. And now my gut churns with guilt, wishing I would’ve sat in my room in the tower before making any rash decisions.
To fight harder instead of walking away.
Nobody has fought for him before.
He fights for his family, but nobody fights for him.
Colten’s handsome face flashes before me in a medley of beautiful images until he is the only person consumingmy thoughts. Like the first time my eyes magnetized to his translucent green ones when he opened the school door for my “interview.” When he caught me in the orchard and called me hisLittle Ghostfor the first time. The effortless smiles that tug at his lips when he’s around his family. The butterflies he gave me that night when he surprised me with my birthday picnic under the lights in the orchard. All the moments I’ve felt him move inside me like he was the one piece I’ve been missing all along. The piece that made life feel less hollow and kept me grounded.
He keeps me grounded.
“I’m sorry I left,” I whisper, the words coming out shaky from the shivers impacting my weak body. Colten can’t hear me, but I wish there were some way I could make him feel them.
But I’m down here, and he’s up there.
The water is higher, pouring through the slit in the window. It’s drifting up to my neck.
The water level rises.
Up.
Up.
Up.
Water trickles down my cheeks, and I can’t tell if the wetness is from my eyes or the river. But when I lick my lips, and the salty flavor coats my tongue, I know it’s my tears.
I hope you’ll forgive me one day.
Then I inhale my last, deep breath, letting the river overtake me. My head completely submerges, but my eyes are still open.
One second feels like one minute. Thirty seconds feels like a lifetime of drowning. Then, the front of the truck makes contact with something underwater, and the back tailgate slowly drifts down to even out. But my taillights, still shining through the darkness, reflect off what appears to be rock.
