The second I let my eyes slide closed again, the music washed over me. It sounded so much better now that I had the guitarist playing with me. My heart slammed into my ribs just a little harder when the drum line added in.
Yasu cursed from across the room, and everyone stopped playing.
“This doesn’t mean anything.” He crossed his arms and pouted.
“What do you mean?” I asked setting the bass off to the side once more.
God, the look that Yasu gave me could level buildings. Not just that, but entire fucking cities. What was it about the guy that had him so fucking pissed at me? I was there to help his band, and the second I walked through the door, it was as though I had personally harmed him.
“You know that song? So what? It still doesn’t mean you’re a good fit.”
Toshi huffed loudly from where he’d propped himself against the wall, watching everything transpire.
“That’s enough. Yasu, if you want Pink Cherry to keep going, you will give Ryosuke a chance. If he completely fucks it up, we’ll reconsider things. Keep in mind that a large part of this decision lies in the hands of the label, whether you like it or not.”
Yasu’s shoulders drooped—he looked like a kicked puppy. It wasn’t like I wanted to trample all over his band and ruin everything he’d set out to create. I was perfectly okay with blending in if I needed to. Sure, these guys were a lot more cotton candy to my hard grunge, but it didn’t mean that it wouldn’t work.
I would still be playing music and doing what I loved.
Music always gave me life a purpose. It was the reason I woke up each day and kept pushing, no matter how much I wanted to throw in the towel every other day. Would the world be better off without me in it? Maybe. But the last time I’d entertained that idea was when I’d ended up in the biggest trouble of my life, and I swore I’d never get back to that place.
It didn’t stop the dangerous thoughts from creeping in from time to time.
“Toshi—” I didn’t get to finish what I was saying before he raised his hand to silence me.
“Do we have an understanding?” Toshi asked, still staring at Yasu.
The vocalist’s shoulders rose and fell with each labored breath—I didn’t like this feeling. This was the first sign that I wasn’t as welcome as I wanted to be, despite the rest of the band not seeming to have an issue.
Yasu nodded, not even able to grace our manager with words. Anger rolled off him in palpable waves. He was like a bull waiting to strike. Any moment and you’d find a horn shoved straight up your ass... and not in the fun way.
Toshi didn’t bother to stick around. He peeled himself from where he’d planted himself against the wall and left the room. A strange silence filled the space as we all looked at each other, as if we were all afraid to be the first one to speak, breaking whatever sort of weird spell was currently over us.
It didn’t matter.
It was Yasu.
He huffed loudly, throwing his arms in the air before he exited the room, not bothering to say anything before he left for the day.
“Ithink you’re pretty awesome.”
The words took me by surprise as I stubbed out the cigarette along the side of the building. The guitarist with the long dark hair from earlier stood there with his arms tucked behind his back. He wore a black and pink sweater that looked like it was stitched together incorrectly in a few places, with a pair of dark skinny jeans. As he watched me waiting for a response he rocked back and forth on his toes.
I wasn’t sure what to say. Itsuki? Wasn’t that his name? I’d tried to do a little research about the band before our first meeting.
“Thank you?” Fuck, why did that sound like a question? I needed to be a lot more confident if this was really going to work.
His smile was soft and warm—inviting. Like he wanted me to know that he was someone I could talk to. He’d come across that way the second I’d walked through the door to the practice room earlier.
“I mean it. When they said that you were from Tokyo Roadtrip...” He took a deep breath, looking down the alley before trying to meet my gaze again. “I worried. We’ve had our harder songs, but you guys... wow.”
I wanted to laugh.
Hatchi was a moody motherfucker. Most of our songs were about how much life sucked, how most days he wished he were dead instead of above ground and enjoying the smaller things in life. For a while, it was also what I lived for. I’d joined the band right after going through the darkest time in my life, but maybethat was also why it had been so damn toxic. None of them knew how to handle the pain in a healthy way.
I’d learned early on that not everything was sunshine and roses. Parents didn’t always support your dreams, and you had to do shit on your own. Add into the mix that your sexuality wasn’t exactly up to their expectations…
I shook my head before my thoughts could spiral too much further. Itsuki was trying to be nice. To make an effort to make me feel included after Yasu had acted like a total ass.
