It was enough to have fresh tears springing to my eyes. I’d never been shy about showing my emotions or wearing them on my sleeve, but this was getting to be too much. The rest of the band would start to worry if we didn’t get it together soon and rejoin them.
As if on cue, the door opened again, Riku poked his head out. “What’s going on out here?”
It would have been easy to laugh it off except for when I got upset like this I got all splotchy and gross.
Riku was out the door and in the hall in a flash.
Yasu wasn’t the only protective one. We’d all been that way with each other. We had to be because not everyone always understood how close we all were.
Before long, the entire band was standing in the hall. I couldn’t just stand there and blurt out how stupid I’d been for making out with two of them. That was private, and for all I knew, Ryosuke and Yasu might not want it to be public knowledge. Riku and Tatsuki didn’t strike me as the judgmental types, but it wasn’t my place to out anyone if they weren’t ready for it.
“Are we okay now?” Tatsuki asked after we’d all started shifting into other conversations. Both he and Ryosuke were laughing about something between the two of them.
I nodded, though I wasn’t completely feeling like myself. We needed to get through this practice, then maybe there’d be more time to talk about things. At least I hoped there would be, and that Yasu wouldn’t retreat back into his angry little shell.
As we entered the practice room, everyone went back to their instruments. It was a lot easier this time to focus on what I needed to do. The music flowed through me as if it had always been meant to.
At one point, I’d joked that I was born with a guitar in my hands. It wasn’t all that funny because my parents wished I’d done something more “meaningful” with my life, like becoming a doctor or lawyer. I couldn’t think of anything more meaningful than making an impact on the lives of people just like me. Those who didn’t always feel understood or seen. Most times, I still didn’t feel completely understood myself. At least my friends put forth more of an effort than my family ever did.
I’d only ever gotten my first guitar after I promised my parents that I would ace my high school entrance exams. The good news was that I studied my ass off for those and any school I applied to wanted me. Too bad for my parents that high school was only to appease them. Even though I could have gone to the fancy private school, I opted for the commercial high school that accepted anyone. While most students used it as a last resort, I skipped all the fancy acceptance letters and went with what I thought would be easiest.
It ended up being the best decision of my life. My parents had to cave and buy me the guitar because I’d still held up my end of the bargain, and I’d met my best friends and band mates there. None of that would have happened had I listened to their demands. It didn’t matter how many times they tried to punish me by taking my guitar away. I would always find a way to use it as collateral to keep them happy.
You want me to get good grades? Give me the guitar back. That after-school club you think would make such an impact on my non-existent future? Sure, I’ll do that as long as you let me join the music club as well. There was a fine balance, and I learned to play the system well.
Before I knew it, practice had wrapped up for the day. My fingers were numb because, while I’d been playing for years, I hadn’t warmed up properly for the day. I’d been too preoccupied thinking about the other day with Ryosuke and Yasu.
We desperately needed to talk.
And now that practice was over, I still didn’t know what to do. Did I just pack up my gear and go home? Did they want to talk things out some more?
When I headed for the door after Riku and Tatsuki had left, the soft baritone of Yasu’s melodious voice stopped me. “Itsuki, can we...talk?”
I took a deep, shuddering breath as I turned to face my best friend. He was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. Ryosuke stood next to him. I felt like I should have been more relieved that they were together and not killing each other, but after the last few days, my nerves were still fried.
My heart beat a million miles a minute as I approached the two men. I had no idea what was about to happen. All I knew was that my insides felt like they wanted to escape my body. It was nobody's fault but my own.
Once I was close enough, Yasu grabbed my wrist, pulling me in close. On instinct, I looked around the room to make sure we were really alone. His arms tangled around my waist as I landed against his chest. He planted his face in my neck, taking a deep breath.
It was enough to send little shivers of pleasure through me. It wasn’t what needed to happen right then. I needed to focus on what it was they needed to talk to me about not how good it felt to have my best friend’s arms around me in such an intimate way. Not that we hadn’t been far more intimate the other day. I’d give anything to feel him against me like that again. Both of them.
“Itsu-chan,” Yasu sighed.
The endearment made zing more. He’d always been a little sweeter with me, but now that I’d heard the name used in a state of pleasure, it did something else to me.
“Ye—yes,” I breathed, my eyes opened wide as I felt Ryosuke move behind me wrapping his arms around both of us. I was in the middle of a hot man cocoon. Something I didn’t think I’d ever get to experience.
“There’s no need to be scared.” This time it came from Ryosuke. I wanted to turn into a puddle of goo. While I’d been terrified coming in today and then with how tense everything had started out... maybe all it took was for them to realize just how much it impacted me. Not that I was trying to manipulate them with my feelings. It was obvious they cared, and I wanted to melt into them and cling harder to the comfort.
“What is this?” I finally asked, lifting my head to meet Yasu’s warm, dark gaze.
He smiled only at me before placing a gentle kiss on my cheek.
“I think what happened the other day took us all by surprise. Instead of acting like adults, we let our insecurities get the best of us.”
What was even happening?
I wanted to cling to hope that this was Yasu and Ryosuke telling me that this would work. We could try to do something together, but that also meant that the two of them needed to work on what was happening between them.
