We were rock stars, and while our lifestyles were mostly accepted, there were still a lot of people who didn’t understand. Especially people like Itsuki. He didn’t conform to normal standards with his love for dresses and things that were more feminine.
“That’s a shame,” I mumbled, taking another drink, “you seem like such an interesting person to get to know.”
Was he blushing? Itsuki looked away, downing the rest of his beer before excusing himself from the table to use the toilet.
Riku and Tatsuki said nothing as Itsuki left us, but we didn’t continue much conversation until he got back. While the rest of my bandmates were interesting, they weren’t nearly as interesting as the pretty guitar player.
Chapter 12
Itsuki
Get your act together, Itsuki. He’s not really trying to flirt with you.
Or was he? I was so bad at telling. I’d spent most of my life wishing for someone to pay attention to me in that way, but up until now, that person had been Yasu. What was it about Ryosuke that made me want to be seen? To be understood.
Maybe that was why I was trying so hard to get everyone to like him. Since the moment we’d met, there had been a deeper connection there. I felt like I could trust him on a much deeper level, and I hadn’t felt that way in so dang long.
Was it possible to have feelings for more than one person?
The cold water felt good on my face as I splashed more of it from the faucet. I didn’t even care that it was messing up the little bits of makeup I’d worn for the day. It was more important that I cleared my head and got my act together before going back out there and making a total fool of myself.
Ryosuke was nice. There was nothing more to it than wishful thinking.
Though I wanted so much more than that.
What a freaking mess.
Someone else entered the bathroom, making me jump and turn off the sink. They didn’t need to see me like this. Thankfully, it wasn’t anyone who paid me any attention and made his way straight for a urinal against the wall. I reached for the paper towel dispenser. It gave me a long sheet that I was more than a little thankful for. I used it to dry my face before tossing it in the trash making my way back to the table.
Maybe I’d been gone a little longer than I thought, but when I returned, only Ryosuke and Riku remained at the table.
“Tatsuki had to get home to his girlfriend,” Riku explained as another round of beers was delivered to the table. My head was already spinning,maybe I needed to slow down, but that wasn’t always the logical answer either.
“Oh, yeah?” I asked as I sat down, picking up my fresh pint and taking a long sip. The crisp flavors washed over my tastebuds before my gaze swung in Ryosuke’s direction.
He was watching me. Good. I wanted his eyes to track my every movement.
Riku grunted his response before picking up his beer and downing it. I’d never seen him drink so quickly before, but I wasn’t about to question it. He threw some money down on the table before standing and stretching. “And honestly? I should head out myself. It’s been a long ass day and we have to do it all again tomorrow.”
He was right, but I didn’t want to leave Ryosuke. I wanted to keep talking, to dive deeper into his inner psyche, uncovering parts of him that most people never got to see.
Before I knew it, we were alone on yet another round. The surrounding room was tilted, a sure sign that I needed to stop,but I didn’t want to. The more I drank, the braver I became. I could ask all the hard questions without fear.
“What about your dating life?” Jeeze, my words were half slurred, but it didn’t stop the sultry smile that spread across Ryosuke’s perfect lips.
He hummed for a moment, finishing his beer—it was as if it wasn’t affecting him at all. I only wished I had that type of tolerance—maybe one day I would.
Ryosuke sat back, resting his hands against the floor behind him as his eyes trailed up and down my frame. Every last inch that his gaze touched burned as he continued his perusal of my body.
Was he into me?
Please let him be into me.
“I don’t really date. Having fun is one thing, but I’ve yet to meet anyone that’s made me want to make any kind of commitment.”
My heart stuttered to a halt. Was he telling me that if I tried to pursue anything with him, it would just be for fun? That he didn’t view me as worthy of being long-term.
What a joke. We’d barely known each other a couple of weeks, and there I was trying to get upset that he didn’t want me for a relationship. We knew next to nothing about each other.
