‘“Between You and Me”,’ I say, tucking the post-it safely in my pocket.
She nods, comprehension flooding her features.
‘Between You and Me’ is sang from the perspective of somebody confessing their feelings for a person they can’t have, for whatever reason. So, instead of wishing for that specific person, they hope to meet someone just like them. It’s an acoustic song with a simple melody and lyrics that scream with longing. Until this weekend, I had never really identified with it.
‘We’ll talk about it later,’ she whispers so quietly I only just hear her. I can only nod in response.
We mostly wait in silence, with Josh breaking it several times to hypothesise where the ‘real’ Ransom might be; hazarding guesses that it’s possibly underground, below our feet this entire time. And a handful more to initiate games of I Spy with each of us.
‘I’m really sorry this is taking so long, guys,’ I address the boys after what feels like hours. ‘I think the fight might be overat this point, you should all go and enjoy your last evening of the festival.’
Owen reclines in his chair, leaning all the way back with his hands laced together over his chest. ‘There’s no way we’re leaving now,’ he says, his face lit with a confused grin.
‘Yeah, doll,’ Josh agrees. ‘With respect, I need to know how this ends. Leaving now would be terribly untimely.’
A part of me already knows how this is going to end. And I have no choice but to watch it play out in slow motion.
Elliot says nothing, but I feel his cool gaze on me as I go to lean on the edge of the table and check my watch for the thousandth time, my heart sinking lower and lower.
After another gameof I Spy, Hennie is the first to notice when the lobster man finally steps back into the room.
I’m the first up and the boys follow suit, immediately leaping out of their chairs. I fly over to him with the others closely in tow, offering the post-it to him. My hand shakes.
‘We’ve got one,’ I announce.
An apologetic smile reaches his lips as he looks down at it, and I feel my face fall.
‘Sorry kids, I’m afraid the winners got to the prizejustbefore you. You were incredibly close!’ he says with a smile, as if this might be a good thing, and not a completely horrible, heartbreaking thing.
‘Right,’ I murmur.
And then… I wait. I wait for the devastation to hit me. I wonder if the disappointment will meet my body in waves. Or if it will hit all at once and bring me to my knees.
I keep waiting. But there is just a glimmer, rather than an implosion. Sure, a vague sense of a lost opportunity and sadness that something I’ve craved so badly has slipped through my fingers. Mostly the fact that we were so,soclose.
My gaze slides to my shoes. I can only guess that my lack of extreme reaction is due to my complete and utter exhaustion. Which in itself is possibly a side effect of constant Elliot-induced disorientation.
‘Thanks for the update,’ Owen says, in a voice I’ve never heard from him before. Dull with a little flourish of ice.
A steadying hand grips my shoulder. Assuming it’s Hennie’s, I put my hand tightly over it.
But it feels much too large to be Hennie’s. Which alerts me to the fact that it’s probably Elliot’s hand, and I am definitely holding onto it like it’s keeping attached me to the earth.
‘Yes… we posted the update on all Queen Ego’s feeds just now, it’s unfortunate you didn’t see it. I’m sorry about that. But thank you for taking part! Lots of fun!’ he replies, his eyes sliding over me more than once, possibly picking up on my dashed hopes most of all. ‘There’ll be another contest on social media soon as well to win some merch! You just need to sign up for our newsletter.’
I let go of Elliot’s hand.
‘Yeah,’ I say with a tight smile. ‘I’ve done that. Thanks, though.’
Hennie mutters, ‘A decade ago,’ under her breath, and I feel her arm go around my shoulders as I turn to leave.
‘I’m sorry, honey,’ she says gently.
‘Well. At least we tried,’ I reply, my voice lifeless.
‘I can’t believe we gotsoclose,’ she whispers with frustration. ‘I’d kill that man to avenge you, but I don’t have my best knives.’
Something eases in my chest, making me chuckle. I loop my arm around her and head towards the corner exit of Ransom.I hear the boys muttering behind us, but can’t make out any words.
