‘Uh, yeah – fine,’ he says, his voice a little short.
I persist through the awkwardness. ‘Did you get a shower or was the queue too hideous?’
‘I’ll answer your question with a question. Do I smell like lake anymore?’ he asks.
He most definitely never did but I decide to humour him none-the-less. ‘Yes, you reek. Get away,’ I flutter a hand at him, and he chuckles in response.
‘Oh, fuck you, Tim!’ Josh erupts from behind us, scowling at his phone screen.
‘Fuck you, Tim,’ Owen echoes bitterly.
‘They’re not fixing your shower?’ Elliot asks.
‘They’re not fixing fucking anything. There are probably rats in my mattress and Tim and Brenda are too busy sunning themselves in the Canaries to give a single fuck.’
‘Your landlords, I’m guessing?’ Hen asks.
‘Correct,’ Owen says.
‘It would take a house fire for them to get off their backsides and do anything. Maybe not even then,’ Josh complains.
I turn to him and shoot him a loyal nod. ‘Fuck Tim!’
Hennie skips next to me. ‘And fuck Brenda!’
A chorus of fondfuck Timandfuck Brendas follow from the boys as we continue on the path, drawing a couple of curious looks.
‘I still don’t understand why you can’t just sue them for us,’ Josh says to Elliot.
‘Not what my job is,’ Elliot replies in a tone that gives me the impression he has said this many times.
‘We’re probably going to die in there, Elliot,’ Josh moans. ‘And you call yourself my friend.’
Elliot just casts him a dull look.
‘I’ll have to move back in with Cassie,’ Josh adds desperately. ‘And then she’ll murder me.’
I briefly wonder if ‘Cassie’ might be a girlfriend, and he must see the question written on my face.
‘My sister,’ he explains. ‘She has a dating column, so she obviously dates a lot. It’s petrifying. Random men appear in her bathroom and it gives me the fright of my life every time; I can’t keep going there. I can’t make conversation with them anymore. I’ll die.’
‘If you don’t want to live with her, I will. Cassie’s awesome,’ Owen remarks.
‘Yes, yes.’ Josh rolls his eyes. ‘My entire family is immensely lovable. I know.’
‘Are you from a big family?’ I ask him, because I get the feeling he is.
‘Yep,’ he says proudly. ‘Cassie is my big sis and we have two younger sisters as well, who are twins. Surrounded by women my whole life. I’m a ladies man for a reason.’
Something about Josh having three sisters completely makes sense: from his immediate ease with Hennie and me, to his catty back-and-forths. It’s another luminous piece of the Josh puzzle.
The conversation between the five of us unfolds with ease as we make our way towards the nearest water station. When we arrive, we fulfil the obligatory tasks for the start of a typical festival day: filling up water bottles, putting on suncream and stopping by the bathroom for anyone who needs it. As well as looking around the food stalls to pick up what everybody is craving for breakfast. Hennie and I manage to tick an item off Josh’s Firecrest food bucket list with two crumpets each, and once again I’m grateful for the use of both of my hands.
With our bellies full, we walk on a quiet path into The Lakes area. Thick clouds gather overhead but the air feels sticky and humid, and I find myself very envious of the electric fan Josh is holding in front of himself.
‘No one touch me, it is so warm,’ he complains.
‘No one’s touching you, Ham,’ Owen says.
