Why, then, couldn’t they sit still as they tried to enjoy their very cherry-forward pastries? It wasn’t like they could speed up the clock by sheer force of will. Noah wouldn’t be home until six at the earliest, and it wasn’t even four yet.
They fidgeted with one of their rings as they tried to kill time scrolling through their favorite styling videos, but nothing was holding their attention. It seemed that no amount of balayage or alternative bob styling could take their mind off Noah.
Or, more precisely, nothing could distract them from their anxiety over messing everything up with Noah. Despite what Blair and Dani said, Aspen couldn’t shake the feeling that they might very well end the best relationship they’d ever had if they didn’t handle this right.
They spun their ring so hard it flew off their finger, and they had to chase after it across the patio, dodging around happycouples and lounging dogs. They managed to grab it before it rolled into the grass, but as they stood up from their crouch, they recognized the dog lying on its stomach nearby.
Aspen traced the dog’s leash up to a familiar face. They were pretty sure the woman’s name was Daphne. They’d met a month ago at a singles mixer at the Rainbow Bean.
Even though Aspen wasn’t actively dating, Frankie had managed to convince them to at least swing by and have some cupcakes and wine. Daphne’s dog, Mindy, had stuck her face in Aspen’s crotch, and Daphne had apologized profusely and offered to buy Aspen a coffee. Aspen had thought it was funny, but they’d accepted the drink and the invitation for some company.
Aspen took in the brunette sitting at the table with Daphne now and couldn’t help but beam at her. Daphne blushed and hurried to make introductions, and Aspen shook Olivia’s hand with fervor.
“Your hair looks amazing,” Daphne said, and Olivia echoed the sentiment.
“Thanks, I thought it was time for a change.”
Daphne gazed at Olivia the same way Diego had looked at Frankie, just with less time behind it. “Yeah…me too,” she said, taking Olivia’s hand across the wrought iron table.
Aspen slid their ring back into place and ran their fingers over their watch band again.
It was almost scary how fast things could change. A four-year marriage could end in a matter of months, and a new bond could be forged in weeks. Sometimes it felt like all Aspen had done was blink, and over half a decade had passed. How many opportunities had they already missed to find happiness? How many more would they be missing if they didn’t buck up and take a chance?
After exchanging the requisite amount of small talk with Olivia, Aspen turned back to Daphne. “It was really good to see you, but I don’t want to keep you any longer,” they said, ruffling Mindy’s ears and stepping back from the table. “Besides, I think I might actually have one more change to make today.”
They quickly exchanged numbers, so their next meeting could be a little less rushed, and Aspen hurried back to their table, collecting their belongings and tucking the remainder of their pastries into the bag for Noah. Their coffee was nothing more than dregs, so they chucked it in a bin on the way out.
Chapter 2
Aspen
Aspen was much better at killing time in their house than they were out and about. They managed to get a fair bit of bleach splatter painting done by the time the hour hand on their grandmother’s cuckoo clock reached six. They walked into their closet, fully prepared to throw on the first thing they could find to replace their possibly still ruined jeans. Instead, as they stood there, surrounded by lace and cotton and denim, they had absolutely no idea what to wear.
Yesterday, they’d spent the entire evening at Noah’s house in their pajamas, and yet, today felt different. Or…might feel different, depending on how their conversation went.
They tried on an old, familiar pair of jeans but didn’t like how drab they looked compared to their new hair. A pair of neon green hammer pants clashed with their shirt, and they liked the way their shirt showed off their collarbones but hid their chest. A skirt could work, but they always sat like a bisexual disaster, so that was probably not advisable, at least…not tonight. Maybe one day soon, that wouldn’t matter?
But…is that really what Aspen wanted?
Aspen pulled a large sweatshirt off its hanger just so they could press their face into it and scream.
They floundered around for close to twenty more minutes until finally they were satisfied with a baggy pair of distressed maroon jeans. The second the fly was zipped and the button fastened, that restless energy from the cafe returned, and they nearly sprinted down the hall to Noah’s door.
Clutching the pastry bag in one hand, they used the other to knock once, twice, and then two times in quick succession like they’d done back in school. Just like back in school, as well as every year since, Noah answered the door wearing fuzzy socks and a smile.
Well, he was wearing other clothes besides that, which was probably for the best if Aspen had any chance of keeping a level head. They’d seen Noah shirtless countless times, but everything seemed charged tonight. Aspen felt hyperaware of each inch of exposed skin on Noah’s forearms and below the V of his T-shirt.
They were somewhat relieved to find that Noah was also giving them a close once-over, but that may have been because they were wearing a baseball hat inside—something they never did. It wasn’t part of their carefully curated outfit; it was just necessary for Aspen’s big reveal.
“Can I come inside, hon, or are we going to have dinner on your doorstep?” Aspen asked.
Noah’s cheeks pinkened exactly as Aspen had envisioned at the salon, starting at the tips of his cheekbones and spreading down, like wine pouring out of a bottle.
Speaking of wine. “I brought you pastries and coffee for breakfast, as well as chocolate cake for tonight to go with that red wine I’ve been eyeing on your shelf.”
Aspen followed Noah inside, leaving their Converse next to their rainboots, which they’d forgotten here last week. They were pretty sure their rain jacket was hanging in the closet, just like one of their hoodies was thrown over the back of the couch.
“You’re welcome to my wine even without a trade, but I appreciate it,” Noah said, accepting the coffee and taking a small sip.
