“He shouldn’t be making you feel like–”
“He’s not–” Aspen tried to say.
“And he definitely shouldn’t be tying the success of your trial to the success of the shelter or–”
“Oh my god, he’s definitely not doing that. That’s just me and my own bull–”
“And,” Dani said, her voice loud enough that if Noah had been home, even ten doors down the hall, he probably would have been able to hear her. “If he knows what’s good for him, he’s going to love you in whatever way he can for the rest of his life, because I know you’re going to love him for the rest of yours.”
Aspen didn’t have any argument or retort for that, because that was exactly what they wanted, too. Not for Noah’s own good, but for theirs.
“We’re going to talk more about it, I swear. Just…after the holidays and the big fundraiser. I promise.”
She gave them a skeptical look, born of too many years of knowing them. “You’ve come such a long way since Ethan,” she said, and they buried their face in their hands. “You have! You’re so vibrant and full of life now, where I feel like he was sucking the life out of you for so long. I just don’t want this thing with Noah to go south and put you back in that dark, muted place again.”
Aspen uncovered their face and found Dani staring at them with tears in her eyes. “I promise, Noah is nothing like Ethan.”
“I know.”
“And he’d never hurt me on purpose. If anything, I think the only real risk here is that I hurt myself by having unrealistic expectations—which is why I’m trying to keep my expectations realistic. I am genuinely very happy right now, and Noah seems happy, too. If there’s a way for us to keep doing this, to keep loving and supporting each other while we learn and grow together… That’s all I want.”
Dani studied them for a few more moments before nodding. “Okay. That does seem reasonable. At least for you.”
“Hey!” they shouted indignantly.
“I’m just saying. You’re the one who texted me that you were going to marry Ethan, less than six months after meeting him. If you get through a six-month trial with Noah and you’renotrushing down the aisle, or into some sort of situation that isn’t good for either of you, that seems reasonable enough to me.”
The rest of the weekend was filled to the brim with spending time with Rachel, Dani’s haircut, and grabbing dinner with Blair. She tried to flirt with Dani, which Aspen immediately shot down,but they could have sworn that when they went to the bathroom, they caught Dani biting her lip and looking up at Blair through her lashes.
Thankfully, she went home before Aspen had to have the shovel talk with Blair. It wasn’t that they didn’t trust her; it was just that her brand of polyamory and queer found family acquisition was pretty intense, especially for someone still figuring themself out. She’d taken a ‘throw them in the deep end and see if they float’ approach with Aspen, which they’d appreciated, and from some of the stories they’d heard from Rachel, Blair had done the same with her. There was something about learning to use a strap-on with a blowup doll that Aspen definitely needed the full story about but wouldn’t feel right recommending for their sibling.
If they knew anything about Dani it was that she appreciated a softer approach.
Regardless, they all made it out of the weekend unscathed, and Aspen kept themself occupied through Christmas Eve before missing Noah became almost unbearable.
Charlie suggested Aspen go check out the queer bar he used to work at, and that was how Aspen found themself, shoulder to shoulder with the grunge band guy they’d met at the Rainbow Bean bisexual mixer. He wasn’t exactly giving off talk-to-me vibes, but he’d been nice enough at the mixer, and they were pretty sure Noah would be super proud of them for making a new friend. And if not, they knew for a fact Rachel and Blair would be. Charlie was a bit of a toss-up.
What a long way they’d come in just a year, having so many people in their life who cared about them and wanted the best for them.
Buoyed by holiday cheer and the ample amount of love in their life, Aspen turned to Leon and asked, “How’s your evening going?”
Leon gave them a slow once-over before inclining his head an inch. “It’s alright. You?”
“Well, I’m much better now that I’m here,” Aspen said, holding up their third very yummy cranberry-spiced cocktail.
“Sorry, I can’t place your name,” he said. He turned ever so slightly in his seat, and Aspen was pretty sure they’d won the first hurdle. They stuck out their hand and grinned widely at him.
“I was wondering if you’d ask or just go on pretending. It’s Aspen, they/them pronouns. You met me and my–” for some reason, the words ‘forever friend’ felt weird on their tongue tonight, so they pivoted. “Noah at a Rainbow Bean event a few months back.”
My Noah. That sure had a ring to it, didn’t it?
When Leon hesitated, Aspen added, “You were with your friend?”
“James, yeah,” Leon said, his spine straightening as he puffed out his chest. “We’re boyfriends now.”
Aspen couldn’t contain their happy squeal. “I’m so happy for you, dear! I love gay love.”
It was like Leon had opened the floodgates, and Aspen couldn’t stop their excitement from pouring out. They launched into a monologue about all their clients who seemed to be finding love around the holidays. They didn’t get into their own situation, because it felt like a bit too much, too soon, but Leon nodded along and even added a few anecdotes about his neighbor and her fae friend.
