On the professional front, Aspen was beginning to make a name for themself in the stylist community for their genderqueer haircuts. They were booked solid for most of thesummer and a fair way into the fall. That would have kept them plenty busy, but there was also Charlie’s dog shelter.
Thus far, Noah had been primarily focused on combing through Charlie’s finances while Charlie waited to hear back on some grants he’d applied to. Aspen spent that time developing a creative marketing strategy, even going so far as to tap the salon's social media manager for ideas. Unfortunately, it turned out the shelter had a nearly nonexistent online presence, and it was like starting from the ground up. While Aspen worked on that, they also designed some simple but colorful signage and flyers, but progress was slow. It was the most technical work Aspen had done since getting their comms degree in college, and it reminded them how much they’d hated school.
One night, when they were about ready to throw their laptop out Noah’s third-story window, Noah took both their hands in his and kissed them until their brain no longer felt like a hamster trapped in a maze.
“I promise, it’s not on you or me to fix the shelter for Charlie. It means the world to me that you want to help at all,” Noah assured them. “I won’t hold anything against you if things don’t work out, or if you decide it's too much to take on.”
That seemed like a ridiculous thing to say, given that Noah was in essence working two jobs now. His shitty day job, which Aspen had been trying to convince him to leave for years, and acting as a pseudo-CFO for Charlie’s shelter. Noah didn’t view it that way. No matter how many hours he spent, spreadsheets he created, or plans he put together, it was clear Noah never thought he was doing enough.
To be fair, Aspen also didn’t think they were doing enough. They wanted to help Charlie, because they knew how much he meant to Noah, but also because they felt like if they failed to help him, they’d be failing some kind of trial relationship test. They just needed to finish a few more branding tasks, and thenthey could move on to the big, creative tasks, which they excelled at.
“Okay, so I’ve been thinking,” Aspen said a few nights later, while they were snuggling in bed. “What if we organize a fundraiser with the Rainbow Bean?”
Noah, who was currently sprawled out half-naked across Aspen’s chest, tilted his chin up in interest. “That could be interesting. I’ve been tracking down a few of the small business loans posted on their flyer board, but nothing has panned out yet. They do have a huge customer base, though, and maybe some of them could become more regular donors?”
Aspen nodded, absently trailing their fingers up and down the knobs of Noah’s spine. “We could start off with something simple, like a donation jar, but maybe once we’ve socialized the shelter with the cafe patrons, we could do a fundraiser night around the holidays? Then, after the holidays, when the ‘I want to adopt little Jimmy a shelter dog’ madness dies down, and the shelter needs a boost, we could do an event at the shelter itself?”
Noah kissed them, the kind that lasted longer than Aspen ever knew kisses could last. It lasted so long that Aspen had basically forgotten about the idea by the time Noah crawled down their body to show them just how good an idea he thought it was.
Thankfully, Noah didn’t forget the idea, and he ran it by Charlie later that week. “He loves everything you suggested with the Rainbow Bean, and he asked if we could keep tracking down those leads while he begins to sketch out what an in-person event could look like at the shelter,” Noah reported back at their next stir-fry night.
Aspen was thrilled at the opportunity to help in a more tangible way. The fact that Noah held them extra tight while they sat on his couch, working on a brainstorming document, didn’t hurt either. Noah remained the go-between, ferrying ideas toCharlie on their dog walking days and returning to Aspen with notes and requests.
Thus far, Aspen had been mercifully spared from having to walk any dogs, and they got the sense that Noah needed to have that alone time with Charlie to continue to parse through what he wanted to come from their trial relationship. Aspen also used that time to think about what they wanted in their post-divorce love life. Thus far, the only thing they’d come up with was that they wanted Noah well past the end of their six-month trial. Besides that, though, they hadn’t made much progress.
Amidst everything going on, Aspen had kept their changing relationship dynamic with Noah a secret. They weren’t ashamed or embarrassed; they just wanted to sort things out themselves for now.
Unfortunately, that fell apart the first weekend in September, nearly six weeks after their trial started. Aspen was in the middle of sweeping up their station at work when Noah texted with a request to change their sexy Friday night meetup plans. His text said, “I think you should get some more experience with your harness, and I’m in the mood to bottom.”
Aspen was a distracted mess the rest of the day, and Blair noticed. She finally had to pull them aside when they tripped over a blow dryer cord and nearly took out their entire cart of supplies.
She only had to apply the slightest pressure, and Aspen crumbled, telling her everything and also admitting they were terrified of fucking things up with Noah.
“Hon, you’ve got this. You’ve already fucked his fist and his mouth with both straps, right? You have the motion of the ocean down. Now you need to work on your stroke game, which just takes practice. It seems like Noah is very excited to practice with you tonight. Get out of your head, get out of your way, and I’m sure it will go great.”
Aspen groaned and buried their face in a towel they would now have to wash when their shift ended. “What if I suck at it and somehow hurt him or his feelings?”
Blair soothed her hand down their back. “I’m pretty sure the only one risking getting their feelings hurt in this trial is you. So as long as you’re attentive, patient, and listen to him during the act, you’ll be fine.”
This was exactly why Aspen had hesitated to tell Blair, or his overprotective older sister. They weren’t close to Noah and had no way of knowing that in their relationship, Aspen always felt like they held most of the power.
It had always been like that, Noah following Aspen’s lead as they led them both into new adventures but sometimes also into trouble. Even though the trial had been Noah’s idea, Aspen was the one who moved their relationship past platonic best friends forever. It was going well thus far, but they didn’t want to be yet another person putting unfair or unrealistic expectations on him. That included asking him to bottom. Technically, he’d been the one to offer, and Aspen hadn’t even brought up bottoming in weeks, but still, that didn’t stop Aspen’s mind from spiraling into disaster territory.
“Sex and love are all about communication,” Blair assured them as they left the salon together. “You have to be able to trust that he’ll communicate with you if something is wrong, and you have to communicate with him.”
“I do!” Aspen said, walking with Blair over to where her motorcycle was parked. “Have you ever known me not to speak my mind?”
Blair pulled out her keys and tossed them in the air. “You had non-platonic feelings for him for months and didn’t say anything.”
“I was waiting for the right time–and it worked!”
She turned to look at them, and they tried to give her their most reassuring smile. “Alright, hon, you know how your bizarre-o brain works. If you think you’re bringing your A-game in communication, I believe you.”
Aspen spent their entire walk home, as well as the time it took to shower, get dressed, and march to Noah’s apartment, trying to figure out what their A-game communication would look like.
“I’m really fucking nervous I’m going to mess this up, and you’re going to hate me,” Aspen said the second Noah opened the door.
He gaped at them and quickly gestured for them to come inside. They weren’t sure who had decided that Noah’s bed was the only place they’d be having sex, but they were okay with it.
