But Noah wouldn’t be there.
Noah, with his beat-up jeep, which sped around the corner, came to an abrupt stop in front of Aspen, and scared away their fowl friends.
Seemingly unable to control themself today, Aspen lunged for the door, like there was any chance Noah hadn’t already thrown the car into park. He’d probably even pulled the emergency brake to make sure Aspen could get in safely.
It took Aspen a few tries to get a solid grip on the door handle, but when they did, they yanked it open and threw themself into the car. Proving that Aspen did, in fact, know their best friend, Noah leaned across the raised emergency brake handle to pull Aspen into a crushing side hug.
“You did it,” he said, and the stupid Bellview sign began to blur through the windshield again.
“I did it,” they said, holding up the messenger bag as proof.
“Was it… okay?” Noah asked, running his hand up Aspen’s spine to rest against the back of their head.
“Well, if you can look past all the condescension, misgendering, and inability to use my name, it was pretty heartbreaking because he still looks like… Ethan. My Ethan.”
Noah didn’t say it because he didn’t have to. Aspen amended the “ex” onto Ethan’s name all on their own, and the sign blurred into a streak of blue they could no longer read.
For a while, Aspen had thought of Ethan as the before-Aspen-came-out-Ethan and the after-Ethan. Because that’s how it felt. Like he was two different people. Aspen had held on for as long as they could, almost six full months, hoping that the before-Ethan,theirEthan, would come back.
Aspen couldn’t keep waiting, though. That’s why they’d taken the bus halfway across town to hand-deliver the divorce papers to their old house. The worst part had been that for just a second, right as he picked up the pen to sign, it was like a flash of before-Ethan came through. His eyes had filled with tears, and he’d asked Aspen one last time if they were sure this was what they wanted.
Of course, signing divorce papers on an overcast Tuesday afternoon wasnotwhat Aspen wanted. All they’d wanted was to be their authentic self. To be happy.
Apparently, that wasn’t possible with theirex, Ethan. He’d proven that the second the papers were signed, handing them over with a disappointed shake of his head and Aspen’s dead name on his lips.
“Oh, Asp… I’m so sorry it ended like this.”
Noah was the only person Aspen allowed to shorten their new name. They’d spent too damn long picking it out to have other people shorten it for them. When Noah did it, though, it felt okay.
Actually, it felt more than okay. It felt like his hug, familiar, comforting, and private. Something shared only between them.
“Do you want to go to your lawyer’s office now? Are they still open?”
Aspen blinked several times until the numbers on Noah’s dashboard clock came into focus. “They should be open for another hour, but you don’t have–”
“We’re going,” Noah said, giving Aspen one more squeeze before pulling back and reaching for the parking brake. “Put your seatbelt on.”
Aspen did as instructed, then watched in amusement as Noah looked both ways somewhere around six times before pulling out onto the empty road to head back towards town.
Before they got more than a few blocks, Noah’s phone vibrated in the cupholder. Without stopping to consider boundaries or anything like that, Aspen picked it up. “It looks like your mom texted…” Aspen’s voice trailed off as they read the message on the screen.
Mom:
I know your father can be blunt, but you didn’t need to leave early. We both just want what’s best for you after all that tough business with your gender change. Please respond when you can, we have more to discuss with you.
Noah sighed, even though he hadn’t even read the message yet. Perhaps this wasn’t the first time she’d texted. When he blindly reached for his phone, Aspen handed it to him, and he clicked the screen off before tossing it in the backseat.
“So…visiting your parents last weekend went really well then?” Aspen asked, grateful to be talking about anything that wasn’t their own problems.
Noah stared straight ahead, as if trying to focus on the lack of traffic in front of them. Finally, after so long that Aspen began to wonder if he just wasn’t going to respond at all, he cleared his throat. “It seems that despite everything Braxton has done to embarrass my parents around town, me and my ‘life decisions’ are somehow still the topic of conversation at mom’s rotary club meetings.”
Aspen grimaced, clutching the documents even tighter to their chest. At least Aspen was leaving the shitty household they’d been living in. Noah had been forced to live his whole life as the scrutinized eldest sibling, responsible for carrying all his parents’ heteronormative hopes and dreams. Meanwhile, his brother Braxton made one disastrous mistake after another, yet his parents still paid all his bills and bailed him out every time.
“By decisions, I’m assuming that means your gender?” Aspen asked as gently as they could.
Noah sighed and shook his head. “Surprisingly, no. Apparently, I’m a massive disappointment for not already beingmarried–to a woman, mind you–like that’s the end-all be-all answer to every problem in life. Like that went so well for them and–”
Noah cut himself off, but Aspen finished for him. “And it went so well for me.”
