What would it be like to video call him openly? To say “I love you” without fear? To talk about our relationship the way Jensen talked about his girlfriend?
I couldn’t imagine it. The fear was too ingrained, the risk too high.
Later that night, lying in bed, I thought about what my life looked like.
Hiding who I was from everyone except Marco. Checking over my shoulder before every text. Never mentioning him to teammates beyond “my roommate.” Pretending the most important person in my life was just a friend.
How long could I keep doing this?
Not forever. I knew that much. The secrecy was already wearing on me, making me feel fractured and false.
But I also wasn’t ready to stop. Wasn’t brave enough to face the consequences of honesty.
Griffin Lapierre had done it. Had come out publicly, faced the scrutiny, survived.
But Griffin was the captain in Portland now, not Colorado. Didn’t have Cory Boucher as his captain. Had Wesley Hutton by his side, someone who understood.
I had Marco, who was terrified of exposure. Who had seventeen years of hiding backing his fear and couldn’t risk his family finding out.
Coming out would put him at risk too, even if I didn’t mention our relationship. People would speculate, and sometimes perception was all it took.
I couldn’t do that to him.
So, I’d keep hiding, for Marco’s sake. Keep checking over my shoulder. Keep pretending.
Even though it was killing me slowly.
Monday’s game against Tampa was a win for the team. For me, it was almost a decent game—the closest I’d come to playing like myself in weeks. Not enough yet to make anyone forget the trade rumors, but something.
Portland was playing there the next night—a back-to-back scheduling quirk that had us both in the same city. I’d seen some of the Stormhawks players in the hotel lobby, including Griffin Lapierre.
He’d smiled and nodded. Just a casual acknowledgment between former teammates.
But I’d found myself watching him. This person who’d been brave enough to live openly. Who’d chosen honesty over safety.
Could I ever be that brave? Could I risk destroying Marco’s relationship with his family and losing the only person I had left in mine?
Tuesday afternoon, the plane landed in Denver.
I powered on my phone as we taxied to the gate. Watched it search for signal, then light up with notifications.
I ignored everything except the text app.
Étienne
Landed. On my way home. Thirty minutes.
Marco
Hurry
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Marco
I checked my phone for the tenth time in as many minutes.
Étienne
