CHAPTER ONE
Marco
I scrolled through social media on my phone, half watching Étienne absolutely demolish some thirteen-year-old kid in the latest NHL PlayStation game. The sound effects echoed through my living room—the satisfying crack of stick against puck, the crowd’s roar, the announcer’s enthusiastic play-by-play.
“Yes! Top shelf, baby!” Étienne pumped his fist, his hazel eyes bright with triumph. “That’s four–nothing. Kid never had a chance.”
“You know you’re playing against a literal child, right?” I asked, not looking up from my phone.
“A child who was talking trash about me on social media. Justice has been served.” He leaned back into my couch cushions, the controller still in hand, looking entirely too pleased with himself.
I shook my head and fought a smile. This was us most nights Étienne crashed at my place—he destroyed kids at video games while I caught up on whatever I’d missed during the day. Three years we’d been doing this, ever since he’d beentraded to the Colorado Glaciers from Montreal. Three years of easy friendship, of inside jokes and comfortable silence, of knowing each other’s routines better than we knew our own.
My thumb kept scrolling, past photos of teammates’ families, past some promotional post from the Glaciers’ official account, past an ad for protein powder. Then I stopped.
Griffin Lapierre’s face stared back at me from the screen.
My chest tightened.
The post was from a sports news account—a photo of Griffin at a press conference, microphones clustered in front of him, each one demanding access. His expression was serious, almost solemn, but there was something else there too. Something that looked like relief.
BREAKING: NHL Star Griffin Lapierre Comes Out as Gay
My mouth went dry. My heart hammered against my ribs so hard I wondered if Étienne could hear it over the sound of his video game.
I read the caption beneath the photo:“Former Colorado Glaciers and current Portland Stormhawks captain Griffin Lapierre made history today, becoming the first NHL player to publicly come out as gay. Full press conference details in link.”
The air in the room felt suddenly thin. I forced myself to breathe normally, to keep my expression neutral, even though my gut clenched. Griffin Lapierre—who I’d played alongside for years without ever suspecting he was gay—had done it. He’d actually done it.
“Marco? You good, man?”
I looked up. Étienne had paused his game, controller resting on his thigh, and watched me with concern creasing his forehead.
“Yeah.” My voice came out steady. Thank God. “Just… did you see this?”
I turned my phone toward him, showing him the post.
Étienne leaned forward, squinting at the screen. His eyebrows shot up. “Holy shit. Lapierre came out? He’s gay? I never would have guessed.”
“Apparently. I didn’t know he was gay either.” I kept my tone carefully neutral, the way I’d learned to do over seventeen years of hiding. Mildly interested but not too interested. Supportive but not too supportive. The exact tone that wouldn’t make anyone wonder.
“Wow.” Étienne sat back, processing. “That’s… that’s actually really cool. Good for him, you know? That takes guts.”
Cool. He thought it was cool.
A pang twisted my stomach—not quite envy, not quite longing. Maybe both.
I looked back at my phone, studying Lapierre’s face in that presser photo. We’d been teammates once, before he got traded to Portland this season. I hadn’t known him well, even though he’d been our captain. While he’d been a good leader, he’d kept to himself. But I’d watched him, the way I watched any player who seemed too focused, too controlled, too closed off about his personal life.
The way I’d taught myself to be.
I wondered if Griffin had felt the same knot in his stomach every time someone made a homophobic joke in the locker room. If he’d perfected the same fake laugh, the same way of changing subjects without seeming as if he was changing subjects.
My thumb hovered over the comment button. I wanted to write something. Wanted to tell Griffin I was proud of him, that he’d done something brave, something impossible. Wanted to tell him that seeing someone like him sit up there in front of the world and say those words made something inmy chest feel less like a prison and more like a door I just hadn’t opened yet.
But would it give me away?
I set the phone down. Picked it up again.
