It’s her eyes that give her away. And her hands.
People post only what they want people to see, and Dani is no different. Her page is expertly crafted. Her videos are always on brand, and she always exudes a level of charm that distracts viewers from the fact that they didn’t learn anything too personal about her during the video. I’m grateful my locs hide the earbud nestled in my ear. Her pictures are always effortlessly beautiful, eliciting envy from those who wish they were in her place or by her side without rubbing in their faces that they’re not. It’s a careful balance and she toes the line impeccably.
If you look closely, however, you can catch the moments where she slips. Her smile never changes, but her eyes fade away. There are photos that may come across to someone else like she’s smoldering, but there’s nothing there. Her eyes are empty, like she’s been drained of all the will to keep going. There are videos where you can see her disassociate even though her voice doesn’t skip a beat. In all the pictures and videos where her eyes betray her, her hands put the final nail in the coffin. She grips her purse tighter than usual, her hands ball into tight fists or lie unnaturally straight at her sides, as she mindlessly traces circles while she’s talking.
I want to earn her trust back. I want to be the person she can come to when she needs to fall apart. I want to be someone she wants to share her wins and experience joy with. I want to be her sandpaper.
I analyze a few more posts before a FaceTime call from Christian takes over my screen. After I briefly consider ignoring the call, I answer with Dani’s permission.
I take my earbud out so Dani can participate if she wants to, although maybe I should’ve saved her the trouble. “What’s up, man?”
“Aye, be real with me. If Bailey wanted to date me, would you let her?”
Now, see. If I’d known he was going to be on some bullshit today, I wouldn’t have answered.
Dani’s head swings in my direction, her brows pulled up to her hairline.
“The fuck are you talkin’ about?” I ask.
When I first answered the call, I was looking at the sky through his sunroof, but now he’s picked up his phone so I can see him sitting in his car.
“Just answer the question.” He leans closer to the phone with bated breath.
I suck my teeth. “Bailey’s a grown-ass woman, so I don’tlether date anyone. But if she told me y’all were dating, I wouldn’t be mad about it.”
He lets out a deep sigh and leans back in his seat. “That’s what’s up.”
I laugh. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Wait a minute, where you at? Who’s driving?” he asks me.
I pan the phone over so he can see Dani. She sends a polite wave his way.
“Oh shit, what’s good, DJ?! He got you driving him around and shit? You deserve better.”
She glances over to the phone with pursed lips before saying, “Are you supposed to be the better, Christian?”
He grins. “My services are always available. You’d always be my passenger princess.”
I turn the phone so he can see my deadpan face. “Well, since I answered your question, I’ma head out.”
“Hol’up, damn. I was saying Sophie was making content for the show today and she asked everyone at the station who they wouldn’t want to date their sister and everybody said me.”
When I don’t say anything, he narrows his eyes. “Hello?”
“Hello.”
“Ayo. You just said you’d let me date Bailey.”
It’s like he doesn’t hear himself when he talks. “Again with the ‘let,’ but yeah, I did. But that’s off the strength of our friendship. You’re my boy, so I trust you wouldn’t get involved with one of the most important peopleto me if you were gonna be on fuck shit like you usually are.” I wouldn’t call him a man or a friend if I thought he’d do something like that.
He seems to mull over my words. “So you saying my coworkers don’t trust me?”
I smack my hand over my mouth. “Ohhh shit, look at that.”
“Look at what?”
“The consequences of your actions.”
