His eyes widen as his grin stretches from ear to ear. “Absolutely.”
After our impromptu breakfast where Tee unleashed all the questions he’s been holding in his whole life, I take him home and wait for Sammy to get there. It felt good to talk about Taron, to remember him. For so long, whenever I thought about him, the only thing I could picture was his lifeless eyes and the blood covering my hands.
Thinking about him has me thinking about Our Place. Taron, Sammy, and I spent so much time there growing up. It’s where Sammy and Taron first met. Our best memories spawned there. He would hate the fact that Tee has never stepped foot inside that building.
I look to the ceiling with my hands in my lap. Maybe this is the reason Tanya is sending us on this excursion. So she doesn’t become the next Pandora’s box buried in the back of our closet.
Sammy comes through the door in light blue scrubs. Her eyes are puffy and her blowout looks worse for wear. “Where is he?” she asks.
“Upstairs playing2K. I stopped and got you this,” I say, pulling an energy drink from behind my back.
Her eyes twinkle with joy. “You beautiful man.”
She goes to take it, but I pull back at the last second, my eyebrows pinching. “But you’re gonna save it for later because you’ll be going to sleep soon, right?”
She shakes her head and pretends she’s about to step on my toe before grabbing the can out of my hand. “Sleep. Ha. What is sleep? I gotta get some studying in before class later. And I have to discipline your godson.”
“Well, before we get into that. How are classes going?”
“Good, good. I’m just tryna figure out how this is the same twenty-four hours we’ve always had in a day.”
“Can’t be, right?”
“Can’t be. They’re putting crack in these hours or somethin’ now, because I can’t keep the fuck up.”
“How can I help?”
She casts a sidelong glance at me.
“What?”
“You know what. You’re helping plenty.”
In my eyes, paying for Sammy’s tuition will never be enough. That’s the very least I could do. “I beg to differ.”
She huffs, grabbing a coconut water from the fridge for me. “I’m not gonna argue with your fat-headed self.”
“That’s good to hear, because you might not like what I have to say next.”
I tell her about my conversation with Tee concerning his dad, some of the questions he asked me, and what I shared with him. The color drains from her face the longer I talk.
She buries her head in her hands, lifting it when she feels my hand against her shoulder. “I’m failing him.”
“Sammy. No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am. My baby was hurting and I couldn’t see past my own pain.”
“You’re grieving.”
She rolls her eyes and taps her foot impatiently. “For sixteen years?”
“There isn’t a timeline for grief. Matter fact, I don’t think grief ever stops. The ones left behind carry the loss around until it’s their turn to leave this Earth. It never gets easier, you just get used to the ache. You learn to rebuild yourself around it because it’s impossible to be the same person you were before.”
“I was never supposed to do this alone.” Her eyes shoot over to me. “No offense. I just mean parent-wise.”
I take her hands in mine. “Don’t apologize to me. You’re right, you weren’t supposed to be alone, but you’ve done an incredible job.” Sammy is a damn good mom. There’s never been a time when Tee hasn’t been her number one priority. She learned how to be a mom while learning how to be an adult and her own person. “You raised a good kid. He’s insanely smart with a good head on his shoulders and a heart of gold. I know we see a lot of Taron in him, but he is who he is because of you. Taron was the soil but you are the water that feeds him so he can grow.”
Tears stream down her face. “Thank you. And thank you for looking out for him.”
