She scoffs, jerking back from the table to stand. “Fuck you, Micah.” Pushing past me, she grabs her coat and storms out.
When I start to follow her, Dani grabs my arm. “Let her go.”
“I fucked up.” I hang my head.
“You did. I know you want to protect her, but all you’re doing is keeping her trapped. You would be the very first person to say her disease doesn’t define her, right?”
“Of course.”
“So, then why is it that every time you see her, all you do is look for the MS in her?”
Ouch. I don’t think I do that every single time, but I can understand that it comes across that way. I’ve lost so many people in my life, I just don’t know what I’d do if one of them was her.
“I’ll make it right,” I say, more to myself than Dani.
“I know you will.”
When sleep finally comes for me that night, it transports me to the hospital where Bailey received her MS diagnosis.
I’m sitting in the waiting room with my head in my hands.
“You’re better than this.”
I jump at the sound of Tanya’s voice. When I look up, she’s sitting in the chair beside me. “I know I am. I can’t get her disappointed face out of my head.”
“Come with me.”
She leads me through the halls of the hospital, stopping in front of Bailey’s room. At least, I think it’s her room. I rub my hands over my eyes, but I still can’t see her clearly. Everything inside the room is blurry while everything out here is crystal clear.
Tanya brushes past me, and when I turn to follow her, I’m stunned by the sight of everyone I’ve ever lost standing in a row with solemn faces. Tanya doesn’t acknowledge any of them as she walks to stand at the end of the line.
“She’s not us. Stop treating her like she is, or she will move on with her life without you.”
I start to respond when I hear shifting behind me. I turn around to find the hospital has changed into a stadium and Bailey is on stage dancing her heart out. I can’t make out anyone else on the stage or in the audience, but I see our parents run over to her after the performance to hug her. Dani’s there as well. Everyone in Bailey’s life is there except for me. There’s music playing somewhere, but when I reach out to her, the music cuts and Bailey gives me the look of contempt she gave me when she left my house tonight.
Tanya places her hand on my shoulder. “Do you hear me, Micah?” Her voice sounds so far away even though she’s right beside me.
I shake my head. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Do you hear me? I said WAKE UP!”
I jolt awake covered in a layer of sweat. Knowing sleep won’t come back anytime soon, I sit up in my empty bed and pull up the link Dani sent me.
Chapter Twenty-One
Micah
GO IN OR DON’T,BUT STOP STANDING HERE LIKE Acreep, I scold myself as I stand frozen outside the support group Dani sent me. I need to go in. Losing Bailey to MS would be devastating, but I would never recover if I lost her because of my stubbornness.
Taking a deep breath, I step into the meeting room.
There are padded stack chairs set up in a circle in the middle of a neutral-colored room. Some people are already sitting while others are gathered around the snack table.
“Welcome in,” a Black woman with micro twists, a burnt orange oversized sweater, and black jeans greets me. “I’m Kaylan. I’m the facilitator here.”
I shake her hand, still taking in my surroundings. “I’m Micah.”
“Is this your first meeting ever or just here?”
