Eek. Not this.
I avert my gaze to the glass table between us. Bender voluntarily checked into a rehab program last week. Drug of choice was alcohol, but he’d progressed past the gateway to harder stuff. I had no idea he was suffering. The man always kept to himself, so the news came with a hefty dose of guilt.
I should have noticed. Anesthesiologists are particularly prone to substance abuse, and with my brother’s history, this stuff hits harder.
The table discusses the gossip, but I’m busy remembering the three knocks that went unanswered on my brother’s door. The chill of his stiff arms that proved I was far too late.
“Funny,” Cassie cuts into my memories. “Of all of us, he’s not the one I would’ve pegged as a partier.”
Geoff laughs. “Yeah, I’d put my money on Aaron Beal any day.”
That cuts through the cold memories, and I snort. Aaron Beal is as straitlaced as they come. His pious family is picture-perfect and lovely. Man won’t even touch the spiked punch at our annual holiday party.
Cassie laughs along like it’s one big joke. “I’d have bet on Joss.” Then she winks at me. Like we’re friends. Like she’s teasing. Like she’s allowed to make jokes like this.
I’m too shocked to reply. What the hell?
Yayoi lets out a single bark of laughter. “Joss? Yeah, right. I can’t even get the girl to take a toke from my vape pen.”
Asher’s foot nudges mine under the table, and he adopts a playful tone. “But she’ll go to town on a pineapple White Claw.”
I meet his eyes and melt at the silent support there. The worrisome tug makes a painful pull at my chest, so I look away, forcing out a sarcastic, “Yes, I’m clearly an addict.”
Geoff snatches the can sitting in front of me and finishes off the warm dregs. “You’re not an addict. You’re an enthusiast. You want another?”
He’s been excessively nice, my friend Geoff. Maybe he should shoot his mouth more often. I’ll suffer a few drunken insults if he’s going to cater to me for days afterward. His stilted, sober apology the next morning was the most awkward thing we’ve ever been through together.
Just mouthing off... Didn’t mean it... You’re one of my best friends... So sorry...
“Nah, I’m good,” I say, grinning his way.
Cassie, not to be outdone, knocks back her plain beer. “I’ve never been into those girly drinks, but hey, someone’s gotta drink ’em.”
It’s hard to tell if I’m being insulted, but given it’s Cassie, I’m leaning towardyes. I refuse to engage, though. Instead, I focus on the sunlight glinting on the pool water. Several of the MAs lounge on pool floats in the shape of burritos with arms because, according to Asher,Mr. Burrito is hilarious!
Asher stands. “You know what? All this talking about it makes me want one. Anyone else?”
Geoff, Evie and Yayoi all raise their hands in solidarity while Cassie frowns. I lift an eyebrow at Yayoi.
“I can sip it!” she says. “A sip an hour or something!” No way will she actually drink it while pregnant, but her loyalty here can’t be questioned.
I love my friends, and these warm tinglies inside are really quite pleasant, but here’s the deal: The pineapple White Claws are mine. Cassie’s stupid antics are forcing my friends to stealmydrinks. I will never forgive her for this. It might be worse than her hand on Asher’s shoulder, or her gaze on his ass right now as he walks away.
When he returns, he doles out the alcohol and leans close to my ear. “I’ll buy you more, I promise.” Then he plops down in the empty seat beside me, leaving Cassie all by her lonesome across from us.
Tug, tug. Ouch, ouch.
I think you need to focus on what you have, not what you have the potential to lose.
My best friend is a smart, smart man. How did he cut so cleanly to the core of things? And then magically find a way to make me laugh afterward?
This tug is growing more insistent. I still don’t know how to make it stop, or even if I can. I might suffer this pull toward him forever.
It’s a tragic thought.
Meanwhile, Evie and Geoff chat about a combo case they scrubbed earlier this week, and Yayoi plays up her morning sickness with a pitiful moan, spurring Geoff to rub her back again.
Cassie leans her elbows on the table. “So, Joss. Are you dating anyone these days?”
