“Well, it’s got to be something, Asher. Why else would his mind even go there?”
“Because he thinks it’s inevitable that we’ll end up sleeping together.”
She jerks back.“Why?”
“Because we’re both single and we spend a lot of time together. He was just drunk. He didn’t think it through. It means nothing.”
Her posture eases slightly, so I turn in my seat to face her.Anxiety gathers at the core of my spine, branching outward. Hope this next part goes smoothly. Might be in for a lot of yelling. “You know how you said I need to focus on the good things that happen and not the bad ones?”
She nods, expression wary.
“I think you need to focus on what you have and not what you have the potential to lose.”
Silence answers me, but her gaze is unwavering. Bright eyes. Motionless chest.
“Loss is a part of the human condition, Joss. It’s natural to fear it, but this offense you take when you believe people are judging you... I think you know you’re missing out on good things by pushing people away. I think you use your one-night stands as a replacement for the intimacy you’re so afraid of. And I think you judge yourself because you know it isn’t what you really want. And then you assume everyone else is judging you just as harshly asyou’rejudging you.”
She drops her head. “You sound like my therapist.” Her tone is all grumpy. Way better than the offended shriek I was expecting. “Sounds more practical when you say it, though.”
Ha. I thought the same thing when she told me to take snapshots. We make a good team, Joss and I. “See? You just needed a second opinion.”
She directs a playful scowl my way. “No. This doesn’t mean I’ll listen to you and magically undo years of diseased thinking.”
I laugh, soft and quiet. “You never told me you had a boyfriend who died.”
Her face closes up. “I don’t talk about that.”
“I know, but you can... if you want.”
She sighs. I reach across the console and take her hand. Her gaze falls on our joined hands and lingers there. “It was a car wreck.”
“Did you love him?”
She nods once, choppily. “My first love.”
First and last. “That must have been really hard.”
“Yeah.” Her hand tightens on mine. “I’ve been running from the loss ever since.”
I brush a thumb over her soft knuckles. “You aren’t running, Joss. You’re hiding.”
She blows out a slow breath, jaw clenching. “Maybe.”
“Hey.” I jiggle her hand, so she’ll meet my gaze again. “I know it scares you to let people in, so... thank you for letting me be one of them.”
She snorts. “I didn’tletyou. You Jedi mind-tricked your way in there with charm and pineapple White Claws.”
“And ducks.”
She throws my hand back at me, smiling. “Not the ducks!”
With a smirk, I turn to the steering wheel and shift to Drive. “You can keep denying it, but we all know the truth. The ducks are behind your walls.”
She laughs—incandescent and tinkly. Love that. The most wonderful music, really, her laughter. Feels like helium in my chest.
“Don’t be extra, Asher.”
Ah. There it is. Perfect. Status quo achieved.
