“I take it back,” Geoff says behind his hand. “Can I take it back? Let’s rewind.”
Yayoi sneaks a quick glance at Joss and me. “Sorry,” she whispers, then to Geoff, “How drunk are you, my love?”
“Well—” he picks up a glass “—these are eighteen percent and I’ve had five of them, so...”
“He was joking,” I whisper to Joss.
She looks down at the table. “No, he wasn’t.” The waiter sets her beer before her. She slams it.
“I’m sorry,” Geoff says. “Really. It was stupid.”
“I have to go to the bathroom.” Joss slides out of the booth and disappears. Yayoi smacks Geoff on the shoulder once more, then rushes after her.
I hurl a cardboard coaster at Geoff. “What the fuck?”
“I don’t even know. It just... came out.”
“Why the hell would that come out of your mouth?”
He lets out a drunken snort. “Come on, man. You’re single. She’s single. It’s just a matter of time, isn’t it?”
“We’refriends. Just like I am with Yayoi.”
He rolls his eyes and makes quote marks with his hands, then snatches up Yayoi’s phone from the table. Hetap-tap-tapsbefore turning the phone to face me. “Thatis not friends.”
On the screen is the edited version of one of our fake engagement photos. In true Yayoi fashion, she’s glammed it up with a layer of enchantment, all golden and light filled. It’s the one where we stood close, her hand clenched on my shirt. Half my face is hidden, nestled against hers. Only the curve of my mouth and chin is visible.
Herface, though. Hers is highlighted. The focus of the picture.
Eyes closed. Mouth slightly parted. Tipped toward me like she can’t quite help it. It’s a visual representation of longing.
I canfeelit through the picture.
“See what I mean? Scroll to the next one,” Geoff says.
So I do, my heart jolting at the photo of us nearly kissing, her bejeweled hand cupping my cheek. We’re smiling, nose to nose, looking into each other’s eyes like we want to erase that distance.
One by one, I scroll through them. With each one, more of my composure frays.
Gnawing ache is back.
Hurts.
Thishurts.
So maybe it wasn’t the posing with me that was so painful to her. Maybe she felt what I felt. The yearning. The confusion. The panic.
I slide the phone back to him in silence.
“Just friends?” he says. “If you’refriendswith Yayoi like that, then we need to have a conversation that ends in your death.”
Force out a laugh. Feels wrong. “I get it, okay? But don’t— You can’t say things like that. Even if you’re thinking them. Joss has a thing about people thinking she’s slutty.”
Geoff’s face blanches. “That isn’t how I meant it.”
“You need to apologize to her.”
He curses under his breath and nods.
