“No.” I continue on, rounding the side of the hotel and traveling toward the entry road. A decorative pond takes up the center of the circle drive, complete with fountain and lovely tropical landscaping.
Asher grabs my hand to stop my march. “I said I was sorry.” His gaze is penetrating, his smile absent. Highlighted by the gleam from the bustling entrance of the hotel, his face is etched with desperation. He drops my hand. “Can we please go back to how it was before? I— I didn’t mean what I said. It was just... champagne. And this place. These people.”
“Asher—”
“I’m serious.” His tone goes sharp. “What do I need to do to fix this?”
“There’s nothing to fix—”
He ignores me and steps closer. “I can tell you feel awkward. Please let me fix it.”
I take a breath and try to hold his gaze, but my couragehas fled, leaked into a puddle at my feet. I stare at his throat, where his Adam’s apple bobs, then at his hand, clenched into a fist at his side.
He’s right.Awkwarddoesn’t begin to describe the depths of my discomfort. But it isn’t what he thinks. I’m not uncomfortable because he might care for me, might want me. I’m uncomfortable because I want him, too.
I’ve tried so hard to ignore this. To push it away. But I can’t. Not without shutting him out entirely. And I can’t— Iwon’tdo that. Losing him isn’t an option. Having him isn’t one either, though.
He turns from me with a swear and walks away, straight to the edge of the pond.
I stare at his back.
I kind of think you know I’d take more if you’d give it.
How much more does he want? What doesmorelook like? Maybe I could have him, but still protect myself? What if we tried friends with benefits or casual dating or even just seeing how things progressed without trying to define everything?
What if I could give him more without giving him everything? Float in the deep end while holding a tether to the beach?
My feet move before I’ve fully considered it, bringing me closer to him. Everything in my life always leads me straight to him.
When I reach his side, he’s smiling at the pond—a real,sweetsmile.
I glance at the water, the fountain, then back at him. “Asher? You okay?”
He points at the row of waterfowl gliding along the surface of the pond. “Ducks. Can anything ever really be that bad when there are ducks?”
Later, I will probably look back on this moment and wonder why. Of all the things he’s ever said, why is it the ducks that break my resolve? It disintegrates as he smiles at these birds. He’s always sohappy. Nothing gets him down for long, and I—I want to be a part of that.
With a sigh of relief, I allow myself to pay heed to the advice of Grace Santini. Because she’s right. Everything will be so much better when I just... surrender.
My hands move. My body leans. He gives no resistance when I pull him down and kiss him.
The glass walls around my heart don’t just open. They shatter.
His hands slide around me, lifting me closer. My arms encircle his neck. We squeeze together, his warmth invading my entire system.
In seconds, the kiss runs wild, a chaotic storm of released tension. There’s no buildup. No tentative pecks. He was ready for this the moment I lowered my guard.
Lips and tongue and teeth scrape at my jaw, my throat. His fists tighten around the fabric at my back. The silk protests with a strained pop of threads, but he doesn’t loosen his grip. Instead, his kiss grows harder, more insistent. One hand climbs up my spine and tangles tight in my hair. It shoots fire straight to my insides and buries deep.
Strengthening desire lays waste to my misgivings. Tonight will leave lasting marks, but I don’t care. Cutting all the cords and diving in the deep end isn’t nearly so scary when his arms are the ones dragging me under.
Drowning is inevitable.
At least it’s going to feel good.
“Take me upstairs,” I say against his mouth.
He doesn’t hesitate. One hand snags mine, and he’s leading me with purpose toward the hotel entrance. We ignore the knowing looks from the valets near the door. Asher tugsme so I’m in front of him. His hands land on my shoulders, and he pushes me through the automatic doors, his mouth at my ear. “You are so beautiful. Do you know that?”
