But do I have a choice in the matter?
She slides the door open and steps onto the wraparound balcony. Humid, salty air rushes into the room, mingling with the sterile A/C of the suite. Outside, afternoon sun sparkles over the Caribbean-blue water. The wind is strong enough to whitecap the waves as they crash over the beach below us.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I say.
She hums. “Dangerous.”
Right. Almost forgot. Joss and the ocean don’t mix. Her hands white-knuckle the guardrail.
I’ve avoided touching her since our mishap in my bedroom, but she’s turning into Brittle Joss again. In need of comfort. I’m somehow synced to her needs, so my hand rises of its own accord and presses against the middle of her back. Even through her shirt, her warmth seeps into my skin. Her body loosens ever so slightly.
Ugh. Someone’s turning down the oxygen again.
“Do you ever wonder why the more beautiful something is, the more deadly it is?” she asks.
I tilt my head, keeping my gaze on the water.
“Think about it.” She leans closer to the rail, peeking down. “The vibrant purple of nightshade. The sparkle of liquid mercury. The blinding brightness of lightning.”
Guess we’re going dark today. Which means I’m giving up on subtle. I drape my arm over her shoulders and pull her next to me. “There are beautiful things that aren’t deadly, too.”
She laughs, soft and humorless. “Like what?”
“Sunsets. Turning leaves. Rainbows.”
Silent, she lifts her gaze to mine.
“Friendship.” I brush her chin with my thumb and smile. “Family. Love.”
Her head tilts. “Do you really think those things aren’t dangerous, Asher?”
She looks so lost when she gets in this state, thiscontemplating my mortalitymood.
Sweet, fragile woman.
I pull her into a hug. She fits snug against me, her arms a vise around my middle.
“Just being alive is dangerous, Jocelyn. It’s not the circumstances of death that matter in the end. It’s the life lived before it.”
“Stop trying to logicize me off the ledge here. I want to wallow.”
“Okay. Just wallow, then.” I set my chin atop her head. “Butlogicizeis a really dumb word and you shouldn’t use it.”
Chuckling, she squeezes me tighter. “I really like your hugs.”
That’s nice. But... Why is this familiar weight of inadequacy resting on my shouldersnow? Is it the fact that she won’t even consider the idea of us?
Casual is just all I’m capable of.
Casual might be all I ever get fromanygirl. Should have told Joss I was fine with it. Then maybe this itch would be out of my system.
Inadequate feelings definitely wouldn’t be, but that’s another problem.
“Hey, look,” she says, smiling up at me. “We managed to have a serious conversation outside of a sterile hallway.”
My chuff of laughter stirs the hair at her temple. “Look out, world. We’re unstoppable.”
The rehearsal dinner is located at a restaurant a couple miles inland and boasts a large gathering since many guests came from out of town. In a shimmery blue dress, Jocelyn practically glows among this crowd.
